These goblins are working in unacceptable conditions.
By - last_train_to_space
Just remember in Shrek 2 they literally walked into The Fairy God Mother’s Factory because they told the worker at the front desk they were from the Union and doing a work place quality check so none of the minions interfered and let them go about their business.
*"they don't even have dental"*
Idk what’s better the post or this idea but I’m stealing both.
I play a very lawful game in some places. Dragons that don’t pay taxes are hunted, and some dragons make loopholes by acting as a bank so they get to sleep on all the gold but don’t have to give any away unless the clients have a way to add more gold over time. Afterall dragons love their gold and live for a very long time.
Damn Chaotic Evil Dragons keep moving w/o leaving a forwarding address so I can make withdrawals. 😠😡👿😤😈
Nah that's def lawful evil. Chaotic evil would give you a fake address in the wrong direction.
no that's neutral evil
chaotic evil would just steal houses from other people and squat until they get caught
Neutral Evil fucks with people when it's useful.
Chaotic Evil fucks with people just because they can.
Has happened in the past and I got a 💩 ton of loot and the Lawful Evil ones keep asking for my soul/ a soul for their services! Thought I had a loop hole with their soul but dammit if the smart 💩s said, "who would protect your💩 afterwards, hmmn?" Totally up 💩's creek there...btw any advice on how to deal with this 💩?!
I imagine some dude just very slowly running after a dragon in the distance with a tensers floating disk behind him in hopes the spell won’t wear off by the time he gets to the bank.
Edit if this comment posts like 4 times let me know. Reddit kept telling me unable to post but still posted this one and it’s not showing me the others but now I live in fear.
Lol, a whole-ass culture of trying to use a dragon as protection for your gold springs up.
Anyone who's ever used this sort of dragon bank knows you don't ask for a withdrawal slip, most people aren't even sure those exist. You ask for a "deposit slip", as apposed to the regular deposit slip. If the dragon moves, you ask where to make your new deposits, otherwise you are likely to be ignored. Withdrawal is a four letter word.
If you want to take your money out of the 'bank' you always make sure to leave some coin behind. It's the dragon equivalent of banking fees, but it's done like a donation. Dragon fees can be more or less than market rate, it's based on the dragons mood instead of reasonable market fees. Because dragons can be so old, its more predictable than the market and its a great way to store valuables too.
<<<<(Puts the fancy sword w/ shiny lights running the edge of the blade & black gems in the hilt w/ an Ancient Black Dragon's tooth pommel) (RESPECT)👊 THE ADVICE I NEEDED THANX SONS OF OSHA!!!!😁👍
In the Westmarches community I'm part of, one of the settings has a "Dovah Council" of ancient metallic dragons that serve as basically the high lords that decide the grand things. Like who becomes king, which then serves as a proper king, with the Council as advisors.
Anyway: The first dragon in that world we encountered **tried** being a banker, but they had Goblins take things from people in the nearby town. Cue the party with my Kobold Rogue going in to get our stuff back, because of course. We ended up giving the dragon some tips on how better to run a bank. Primarily: Don't put it out in the middle of nowhere, and have your business hours during the day.
When my Rogue returned, the dragon was the de facto mayor of the town, and his bank was doing marvelously.
Epic Blades don't fall from the sky unless your this Wizard I know!🤑
One of my players recently tried to use Spiritual Weapon on the astral plane so I had an imp from the Summonable Entities Workers Union appear as a temp while The Union works out the rules for extraplanar summons because their contract only covers the prime material plane
I've honestly wanted to do something like this, or do something like the did in that animated movie Hoodwinked. I think it's be hilarious, whether it succeeds or fails.
As a son of OSHA specialist i gotta say this is my favourite meme on this subreddit. Im in tears
They should unionize
The party bard is busy with that while I talk to the boss.
I mean, a party that travels from dungeon to dungeon to make sure everything is up to code and the workers have ways of voicing their complaints and concerns without retribution (mostly) sounds like it'd be an *amazing* campaign premise. They don't necessarily go in to clear the dungeon, kill the boss, and claim the loot.
No, they go in to ensure the rules are being upheld, so every adventuring party that comes in can be sure that everything is up to code, they won't have to worry about just randomly falling to their death because a bridge hadn't been maintained in half of forever, and all traps are in proper working order. With an emergency override button somewhere nearby that'll stop the whole thing in case one of the workers gets caught in it.
>they won't have to worry about just randomly falling to their death because a bridge hadn't been maintained in half of forever
But, hear me out, what if they just call the unmaintained bridge a trap?
So that's a trap, yes? Let me see your trap registration papers on that please...
[It's PC gone mad!](https://youtu.be/CTmLU9VOJlM)
We will eventually make Relevant Mitchell and Webb a ubiquitous thing.
It's legit I swear!🤞
Not to worry, I do believe you, but legally I am forced to check the paperwork. Also can you show me where the emergency override is?
Slow swirls of dust is all you see when your gaze returns to the direction of the exit!🌪🌪🌪
It doesn't appear to be up to code. Without a deactivation mechanism or minion bypass, that's a Code 23 violation, subsection C.
Tax settlement: Acquisition of the that chest over there>>> and on the low😈; each magical weapon will push next appointment back by it's interesting features on a piece by piece bases!🤓🖋📘
We all got to hustle some how!🤑🤑🤑
And put damn hand rails on the walkway over the bottomless pit!
And remove the planks! 😈😈😈
Because nobody else can teach them how to really fuck the boss.
Why are the goblins ionized to begin with?
There was a wild magic leak in level 2. It's in my report.
[*POV: you go to assault the BBEGs lair only to find out all of their minions are on strike*](https://youtu.be/D0uBuO4mXz0)
My friend once made a joke character. Lord H. Azard, the OSHA wizard with his +5 wand of citation.
Tbh I’ve always wanted a game where you play as an OSHA inspector going to Black Mesa after the events of Half Life.
Maybe I should just make that a campaign.
Check out Delta Green for a more modern MIB style investigation game that might be up your alley.
That sounds like it could be a GREAT board game
What level of paladin do I get my forklift license?
That would be a variation of find steed or find greater steed, depending on how big a forklift you need.
I cast Summon Clarklift!
FOSHA (Fantasy Occupational Safety and Health Administration)
FOSHO (Fantasy Occupational Safety and Health Office)
Sho’Nuff (Shogun of Harlem)
Heard a story of something like this happening in a D20 Modern Urban Arcana campaign.
Party spied on BBEG that has a whole factory full of goblins, making weapons. Party then looked up property ownership, property did not belong to BBEG. Party called police to report incident:
“Hi, police? Yes I’d like to report someone? Yes, they have a whole factory manufacturing guns, I have pictures. I was investigating acquiring the property, it appears this operation is squatting... also I’m not certain these workers are being treated legally, their conditions are awful.”
Feds roll up on the BBEG. His mugshot was plastered all over the news. Party sat in a bar drinking and playing pool while the situation unfolded on the news. DM ran with the out of the box solution 😆
It’s a great solution and I would run with it too. Sometimes a curve ball is so awesome.
One of my players made a goblin miner who is super hard about workplace saftey and she named her character osha. Sent her this her new goal is to become a god
I am already preying to her.
Brian David Gilbert is that you?
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 77,989,020 comments, and only 21,552 of them were in alphabetical order.
Violation, violation, violation!
Reminds me of my Paladin forcing the BBEG to pay up his taxes. He was behind by a couple decades.
Things I didn’t know I wanted for $500, Alex.
I appreciate your Dungeon Minis reference.
At first my feel was "Why would you bring such reality into a game?"
And then I realized... you get to KILL the BBEG! Holy shit, I want in on this game!
Lol how else do you shut down a dungeon?
I mean as opposed to "real life" when the BBEG actually just keeps getting richer and destroying the ecosystem while in a personal space race with his fellow assholes.
I like the fantasy of killing them much better. Yeah.
I pulled this off successfully in a Warhammer 40k RP server.
Had my Ork/Hobgoblin dress down some Skaven for several obvious workplace hazards and managed to leave the place alive.
Take the Oath of the Common Man and enforce compliance to Osha by unionizing the mooks
This all has just made me want to run a late industrial revolution style game.
My homebrew setting is on the cusp of one but a Dickensian Fantasy campaign sounds dope as ***fuck***
All these Jessica Jones memes are making me want to rewatch it again.
Got it my fellow adventurer. Tenser's disk is if I liked books that much, just my trusty shrinkable tower, 3 stories with a crow's nest roof (it used to be a necromancer's tower...good loot that adventure...) As a majority ranger I know dragon's well enough to be sure!
Brian David Gilbert approves.
This is amazing!
Would this end up being a homebrew subclass or reflavoured one?
Vengeance Paladin. Every regulation was written in the blood of workers.
I was thinking Oath of the Crown, but you are so right.
Just reflavour something and make room in a pantheon for Osha
If i had a nickel for Everytime I saw content about osha paladins today, I'd have two nickels
Which isn't a lot, but it's weird it happened twice.
I physically felt my stomach turn…
Are you a business owner?
Where is this meme from?