T O P

You could have gotten so many potions...

You could have gotten so many potions...

ThyDancingGoblin

you sold them a cattle for over 100gp? Must be an amazing animal, does it have any kind of healing milk or something?


UpbeatAverage42

Is it okay if I use that idea?


ThyDancingGoblin

sure that was my intention.


KleptomaniacGoat

Yo give the cow a class level Bonus points if there's a pun


BronzeAgeTea

Cowlock? Bullbarian? Cowadin?


KleptomaniacGoat

Bullbarian is brilliant Cowadin would be simply Bovine. Actually wait channeling the powers of the Bovine is too good BOVINE SMITE


Magracer10

Oh fuck bovine cleric is also phenomenal.


GenHawke

With the famous Turn undairy skill


Its_aTrap

Curing lactose intolerance in a flash


Dark_Shade_75

Cowlick the cleric.


LastElf

Cure wounds by lick to the face


SooperDopper

A Cowlick?


BlageMagician

Circle of the Mooooooon Druid


cilantrohater666

The cow is actually a druid that was cursed to be eternally wild shaped! Insert one pun-filled drudic side quest later (or remove curse I GUESS) and the party just gained an equally grateful and existential Druid npc!


KleptomaniacGoat

That's awful, I love it


aravir_star

You know the cow Jack sold for some magic beans? That cow probably has some giant-magic properties. What if it turned into Paul Bunyan's great blue ox or something?


ThePaleKing777

It is delicious, nutritious, *and* supernatural


sfzen

I mean, it's a proven combat cow. It just won a fight in the arena.


Boss_Boggs

Attach a box to the top, and have a gnome illusionist ride it into battle like a war elephant.


TheNinjaChicken

The cow beat someone in a fucking fighting ring, the cow's gonna go up in price a shit ton purely because it's a celebrity now.


MHGrim

You mean like a... Holy cow, man?


NJ_Legion_Iced_Tea

The divine bovine


thisremindsmeofbacon

I mean it won an arena battle surely they’ll sell it hard and for as much as they can


KiesoTheStoic

Next step: Awaken the cow


Loki_twin86

Lol, it'll be a whole new problem. https://youtu.be/VFFDWsUuYPU


tvs117

Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well.


austinmiles

All of my experience with Green Jello is from Beavis and Butthead for Genesis.


Rimasticus

I expected [Cows & Cows & Cows](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FavUpD_IjVY)


elyk12121212

I believe these are the [bovines](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQMbXvn2RNI) you're looking for


RealBigHummus

I expected Otis from the barnyard TBH


Moar_Coffee

The first mainstream trans character in children's cartoons!


RealBigHummus

I am pretty sure one of the writers of the show said that they gave Otis udders just because they believed "city folk would never notice". I just don't remember it being confirmed (even though it is a headcannon of mine, plus imagining the barnyard gang trying to help Otis transition is just funny.)


Spaceman1stClass

Can you unawaken a cow with Feeblemind?


wizardofyz

The miltank stratagem.


Andminus

This could lead to legends of a mighty and feared king of cows that lies in the most secretive of lands, with the key fashioned long ago to the form of a peg leg for a young jaded child trying to escape his trauma but lacking the funds.


Pixel_Taco

I mean sounds like they did you a favour, you don't want to crash your fake economy.


Arawanhe

5 sessions later, they've stayed at the arena, with an undefeated cow bankrolling them...


Boss_Boggs

Buy the arena and become Lannistae, with a stable of gladiator cows.


mindflayerflayer

Did something like this once. One reward was an orange dragon wyrmling, one was a barrel of carnivorous gerbils. Guess which one they chose.


BronzeAgeTea

To be fair, I'm pretty sure a barrel of gerbils would win most combat encounters due to action economy.


mindflayerflayer

Swarm of rats


BronzeAgeTea

I hereby formally retract my comment.


mgb360

There's always the chance the DM foolishly uses mob rules instead of making a swarm stat block. If they *did* do that, hypothetically, they'd find out that a 150L barrel holds about 1,500 gerbils. Assuming those gerbils are fighting something they'll only hit on a natural 20 and deal 1 damage, that's 75 damage per round. If they were fighting something easier to hit than that, say they need to roll a 10 or higher, it's 825 damage. Send them up against a gelatinous cube and it's 1125 damage assuming they have a +0 to hit. You know, hypothetically. Breaking the action economy is fun.


kevaljoshi8888

You underestimated the power of group stupidity. Never underestimate the power of group stupidity.


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Epicoss

That cow now has leveled up. I too would like a powerful cow.


YourCrazyDolphin

In one of my games, a Horse near single handedly slew a frost giant. That group just recruited a powerful ally.


KREnZE113

>slew Slayed?


Mattarias

Naw, "Slew" is sadly uncommon, but indeed grammatically accurate.


KREnZE113

The more you know


JOwOJOwO

>Slayed Slaughtered?


WilliswaIsh

Slewayertered?


AyoRobo

Potions are worth a lot less than a champion fighting cow. This is an *investment.*


Forestxavier20

The cow won a fight. The cow deserves to be a party member.


TeamSkullGrunt54

Cow warrior sidekick > a bunch of consumables you'll never use and a weird stick


MarionberryExternal

I mean that seems fair would you want to give your party that power boost over a cow 20. Much better too have cow interactions and temp hitpoint milk


iw2dl

I'd do that too. But only if its a Miltank, not a Tauros.


AthenasApostle

No, they definitely made the right choice. :)


Akwagazod

NGL I'd buy that cow. Get it a nice little bit of pasture and let it never worry about going to the slaughterhouse, because the only slaughterhouse that cow needs to be in is the one in which it dunked on some poor sucker.


Fictional_Arkmer

This is the appropriate action.


Jerry-Boxington

Agreed! This was 100% the right thing to do.


DeadT0m

This is pretty much the same as the ending of Dorkness Rising. The moral there was that good story or character moments should always be more important than power gaming. Sure, the character could have bought a bunch of cool shit to make the party OP, but that cow earned his freedom from the arena.


Engrac

Congratulations, your players have given you your new plot!


Narutophanfan1

If that group is anything like the groups I have played with. that cow is going to get the lion share of resources because the players will view the cow as more important than their characters. "I could buy new armor or add another protection rune to the armor of the cow. Well it looks like the armor can wait."


Haboobalub

To be fair, that was the right decision


Masuchievo

Better known as the [Cow King](https://diablo.fandom.com/wiki/The_Cow_King).


B34rd3d_D34dp007

Sounds like a druid


xTheCrazy

It's called... Investment!


VagabondVivant

That's an expensive cow.


nikstick22

Why is a cow worth the same as tons of powerful magical artifacts??


HealMySoulPlz

Through the magic of highly leveraged betting odds.


TemporalGod

Guess you could call it a cash cow, see what I did there.


[deleted]

Ok but critical hit cow


[deleted]

Step 9: Freedom


SnipSnopWobbleTop

I go into a cow rage and start chewing faster


alowlyrandom

Cowatyl in disguise


offensiveniglet

Depending on your story you could make the cow pretty cool. This cow produces magic imbued milk. However, it gains that magic from its diet. So as your adventurers are exploring they can keep their eye out for ingredients. If they feed the ingredients to the cow it produces a batch of X potions for the party. I would go one step darker and allow them to feed creatures to the cow. Oh you killed an Aarakocra and want to feed it to the cow? Over the next 5 days the cow produces 5 potions of flight. Drinking the potion causes you to sprout wings from your back. For the next 10 minutes you may take the flight action to take to the sky's. Roll acrobatics(DC 7) You have 120 movement speed while in the air. You would give the party a cool way to make custom potions, just make sure there is a milk production delay so you have time to whip up a fun potion effect.


19DucksInAWolfSuit

Speaks volumes about your party that the bought the cow fair and square instead of just breaking in and stealing it


VictorViyper

Just last week I had a player buy an invisible ring, a hat that let him speak to ducks, AND A BAG THAT NEVER RUND OUT OF BED SHEETS, nothing special at all and I hat it so much


Nerdylilnerd

Duck lord: makes duck out of bed sheets, and while invisible, have it on your head. Proceed to be the new duck god


jeffthebeast17

Sounds like infinite rope


EvilBox

My players bought a city's worth of potions and now they will soon have used them up. Hmmm


materbail

So much better of a decision, that cow is gonna drive the party for so long


TeflonBillyPrime

Another generation spawns another Chelsey cow from KODT.


TheModGod

If nothing else, it will give milk and will make a nice pet to keep around their home base.


the_communist_owl

They made the right choice


Lessandero

I think it was a good choice, now they aren't overpowered to a point where combat doesnt matter anymore


mattywhooo

This is the good ending


comma66

They chose correctly


Pliskkenn_D

I see this as an absolute win


watashinomori

This could easily have happened to my party.


point5_

Who cares about potions ? Buy the fucking cow