Cursed IOs evolution
By - Mijonin
Hey there, Mijonin! thanks for posting to /r/cursedcomments!!
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Holup, this is Apple. Need to buy all 3.
Then buy the slightly larger and more expensive versions that come out a year later.
With ass expanding and all you'd want your asspods to stay in
Don't forget the assdock which no one really knows what it does.
its a big over priced subwoofer that you plug into your ass. **FEEL THE BASS**
This year I actually went with the smaller Mini-model. Has better grip you know.
They need to be for airplay compatibility, sync with what your watching, an all new perfectly machined smooth recycled aluminium finish. (Taptic engine inside and siri integration is standard)
Siri integration? This would give “talking out of your ass” a whole new meaning.
Wait you mean I need ANOTHER dongle????
And the Dongle becomes a Dingle
This one's a dingle dongle.
Use all three at once and vibrate hard enough that your cheeks pulverise concrete
and connect then together in Zee Human Centipede style
All three also take a different charger, each sold separately.
https://imgur.com/gallery/NJ5pqyX Convenient subwoofer....
And ILube for $500
More likely a recurring subscription with just in time shipping for only $14.99 a month plus shipping and handling. You can upgrade to the privacy level for plain packaging!
This is the best
That's the subwoofer periphery
Totes would buy. Bluetooth capabilities and even different lighting modes so you can see what’s happening in the darkest parts of my.....
Set up the Doom OST!
pretty sure the houston astros already tested prototypes for that one. should be on the market by now. not sure why apple's still sitting on it.
you bet your butt(plug)
If they don't put anal beads by pink guy i wouldn't buy
You've heard of iPhone, get ready for iMoan
Name your price
Only plays 'fortunate son'
The future is now. Feel the music [in your ass](https://i.imgur.com/4ce8LZX.jpg).
CMON FEEL THE NOISE
Cum on feel the noize*
E:as per the 'mental health' album
A) cum on
B) feel the noise
best suited for doom eternal soundtrack
Finally Spatial Audio and Dolby Assmos fully utilized
For best experience, we recommend to use it after eating at Taco Bell.
thats just to prevent taco bell from happening
How do you eat taco bell? Am I doing it wrong?
Anally vore it, duh.
It's not vore when it isn't alive. Are you trying to tell me something?
Wouldn’t actually mind something like that tbh, if Apple decided to make butt plugs they’d probably make something quality.
Post it again do that it’s worth it !!
*THX deep note intro plays*
ITS SUCH A... Good Vibration. Cmon, feel it feel it.
First you had ToothTunes. Now you have ButtBops.
Canciones de cola
ToothTunes. Now that's a name I haven't heard in a long time.
I think you meant 'buttbeats'.
I’ve got Katy Perry in my ass...FINALLY.
I NEED THAT BASS BOOST
I want to be in hers
What an interesting statement
I remember when i needed to decide what songs will go on my 256mb mp3player. Jesus, im old.
I remember I had a soft leather case of every 36 Mafia CD. We called it The Book of Grime.
Fuck that's the coolest thing I've ever heard
Look at Mr. Big Shot here with his 256Mb.
I remember the first time I saw one. Mind blown! But I come from the era when an IBM System 36 was the bomb.
Laughs in 8 tracks.
Following this pattern, in the year 2039 we should either have 3,600,000,000,000 songs (multiplication) or 119,999,000 songs (addition). In both cases, the man who posted the comment would be predicting a time more than 19 years in the future. Unfortunately if you are strictly following the pattern, you would never see 12,000,000,000,000 advertised on any 19 year increment.
The numbers represent different things though, the 2001 ad is saying you can *store* 1,000 songs with the storage capacity that the iPod has. The 2020 ad is saying that there's 60 million songs available to stream across the entirety of Apple Music. The largest capacity iPhone is 512GB, which can hold \~128,000 downloaded songs depending on length (assuming you have literally nothing else on the phone).
Exponential growth would bring it to ~146.739 quintillion (146,739,023,484,331,379,844)
And still no headphone jack!
i don't even want to think about the headache that syncing my head to my iPlug is going to cause in the year 2069.
Headache and ass ache, if my stupid headset thought me anything, I'll have to plug the iDildo in and out as I continuously try to synch it with my head.
You don’t need a headphone jack when you have a butt plug
In MY vagina?
It's more likely than you think.
Thank you Albert
someone do the maths quick! if 10 million songs can fit on the apple watch, then how many are up his ass?
I've been able to fit up to 37 apple watch faces without the band in my ass at once to help you with your math
That’s 370 million songs
MFW the bass drops...
The fact they said '60 million songs' is just absurb.. I mean who has 60 million songs?
Apple Music, obviously hehe. This is about the amount of songs you have access to, not necessarily the amount of songs you stored in library/on phone.
Professor Barclay, stop being badass
2 billion gone from your wallet.
Well, you know what they say... "necessity is the mother of innovation"
I saw this months ago, and I’m laughing just as hard now as I was then.
meh only like 4 4k blu rays
The IPlug 1.0?
4 TB of storage, self lubricating, comes with optional furry tail click on for 'fun times' while rocking to tunes.
Need some serious keggle skills to skip to the next track.
That iBass accessory will basically be a butt plug
The iPod rectum. Listen to your number one favorite song, and number two
Imagine pounding some ass then Never Gonna Give You Up plays out his ass
All at once?
Wait thats a good idea
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Butt blast by Apple,
Bone conductivity for you and anyone else when you crank it. Using the pelvis bone as an amplification dish, anyone can enjoy the sweet sound of your organs rupturing.
The cheeks are alive with the sound of music.
With song you won't unhear, for thousands of years.
The worlds music library, now in your mind, with ads!
Details and price
The Tripods are coming
You've heard of Uranus. Now get ready for iAnus
Do you know bee?
1000 is too many
I love professor Barclay
Who knows, we haven’t made it to Uranus yet, couldn’t be the craziest thing we’ve seen, there’s planets raining diamonds
A but plug that doubles as a base speaker is just what humanity is lacking
AirPods with the bASS plugin, AirPlug.
Humans as a species have made 60 million different songs? Is this true?
"The Buttplug, of course."
I’m lactose intolerant, wanna hear Bohemian Rhapsody?
My anus only knows a few songs, and they stink.
That's fine. As long as it's not a subscription.
They sell vibrators that hook up to your phone and they pulse to the beat
And most are shite
This is already a thing I've already got a sex toy that can sync with my Spotify through Bluetooth and vibes to the rhythm of the songs. The one for your vagina is called Lush and the one for your butt is called Hush.
that adds up to 20,000 Apple Watches in his anus
I wonder what he is a professor of?
Where do I sign???
[rectal computer ](https://youtu.be/y-bYSC6OT6s)
The brand new, industry breaking iCock, with haptic feedback and Siri integration.
What about that chip Elon Musk made
Infinity songs in your head
Elon Musk has not made anything
So [this](https://blog.son-video.com/en/2020/09/news-streaming-music-with-elon-musks-neuralink-brain-chip/) is just a joke? Not real?
It's not a joke, it might be a thing in the future, but he has not made anything.
Oh alright. Thank you
I wonder was there really only 1000 songs on the iPod or were they clever enough to see they’d want to increase the number in future advertisement.
1000 just seems so small, or maybe it seems like a lot if you’re use to 12-15 track CDs and tapes.
Size of the file’s effected how many songs could be stored also.
He did the math.
You have to clinch your cheeks to start and pause the music.
The human centipad
The ibAss plug. Turn your asshole into a subwoofer for your favorite songs
2001 - 1000 songs
2020 - 0 songs, everything is on apple servers
It’s called urInus
Professor Barclay wildin
That's 20,000 watches. In your ass.
I don’t get the third one
Thunderstruck/any poop related song every time you take a shit
Professor Barclay for president.
Who the hell listen to 60 Million songs? I barely listen a hundred
The new Apple iBeans
Quadrillion songs in my balls
So, we’re all in agreeable that even 1000 songs was a bit much?
Bluetooth will suck while using the new iNus
Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass.
iPlug and it works as a subwoffer for the air pod
12 trillion songs in my anus? That sounds like a real...*stretch*
Idildo 12! the dildo with 5 cameras on it!
It's even smaller then the last Idildo if you want to expand it well your gonna need **data**
Unhappy, scared and worried. But this made me laugh, thanks op
I swear I’ve seen this same Twitter user in multiple memes
He must have the new iPlug Bluetooth butt plug.
iPhone 24, special edition
Every time you fart a song plays. You're just sitting on the bus when all of a sudden Smash Mouth starts blaring.
So you're telling me that when I fart I full on blast full boom bass music? Shut up and take my money
Side q— is that album art from Conference of Trees by Pantha du Prince? Great album
I still use my IPod exclusively in my car, although it has to stay plugged in 24/7 because the battery is shot.
How is that even funny? Cringe!
But can it do it without the iPhone?
Or the earbuds?
They feature the trumpet quite heavily.