T O P

Most embarrassing ego moment on the mats, go

Most embarrassing ego moment on the mats, go

TooSexyForYorGirl

There was a big spazzy blue belt visitor at our open mat one time. He went really rough with a few white belts so my purple belt training partner rolled with him and caught him in an armbar. The blue belt tried to spazz out, which hyperextended his elbow. The blue belt acted like my friend rolled too rough with him so he was pissed, even though he had a lot of time to tap and he refused. He sat out for a round, then asked the purple belt to roll with him again. This time, he was caught in a triangle and passed out. Then he just went to the locker room and packed his shit. I got some second-hand embarrassment watching the whole thing.


runningclusters

How was he able to roll again after that happened to his arm? Are there times where it isn’t that serious of an injury? It seems like once it hyperextends you’re fucked.


TooSexyForYorGirl

There are levels to how badly you can injure your elbow. I used to have a bad elbow as a white belt every other week. Usually, the real pain comes in a few hours after the incident, not right away, but it does feel off right away. And it usually heals within a week unless you have a complete tear or fracture (bare in mind, I was in my early 20s so my body used to recover quick). My secret for not having bad elbows anymore are 1) Don't let them get to juji gatame 2) Tap as soon you don't have control over your arm, late-stage armbar defenses barely work


wbjacks

FYI it’s “bear” in mind, meaning to carry or hold (bearing a burden, etc.)


gjnbjj

I broke my collar bone and rolled another 3 rounds. Adrenaline is a hell of a drug.


TmfGD

Don’t overthink it, there are degrees to how badly it’s injured. If it’s just a slight hyper extension you’ll be okay in a few minutes, just sore


xmacca

About 20 years ago I went to a gym in West London, because I'd heard there was a guy teaching BJJ. It's a normal weights and running machines kind of place, but there's a corner with a few mats. I go over to watch the class. And this young tall guy in a gi comes over to talk to me. We have a chat. He mentions winning some stuff at purple belt. I then tell him I'm a purple belt too and I've won some stuff (because I'm a purple in a trad form of jiu jitsu and I'd won technique tournaments) Anyway I decide against training there because it's too expensive and carry on with my life. About 5 years later when I decide to take another look at training, I come to the realisation that the guy I was trying to equate my skills to was Roger Gracie.


philodog9

But Roger still wonders to this day if he could have won that match.


SamSamBjj

The purple belt that guy away.


AllGearedUp

Wut


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lateroller

What’s a technique competition like for traditional jiu jitsu? Is that how Japanese jiu jitsu works?


9inety9ine

I trained with a guy who did JJJ, he was so stiff you could sweep him with a hard push. I think they're just scored technique demonstrations, like kung fu weapon stuff.


Nargarjuna

It's the same as a judo kata comp


MDgard_pagan

A. What.


mistiklest

I love when people find out Judo has kata.


MDgard_pagan

Yeah I had no idea.


Nargarjuna

To be clear, it's a two part choreography, you're not just like, squatting and popping your hips alone for 10 minutes.


MDgard_pagan

Lol if it was the second you could call it combat twerking


Eizion

... I would watch that


byronsucks

my toes curled after reading this


markelis

I had a 'big' white belt just layout flat on top of me and Panda Smesh me. I couldn't breathe with 300 pounds of man on my face, so I tapped to the Smesh. I was literally under a pancake of man. No butterfly hooks would move him, and my life slowly drained away. It was his first day.


pl4sticd4ddy

This hits so close to home man. As a smaller dude, I often just get squashed by bigger opponents who get me into a pin and then rest. Usually it's ok but when they're above 250 it doesn't matter how good your frames are, they'll just snorlax their way through them. Edit: also I suck so that's probably got something to do with it


DrButtCheeksPhD

He’a one of those, “jiu jitsu wouldn’t work on me, I’d just stand up” kind of guys


Milbso

More like "I'd just lie down"


hymmtofreedom

>I had a 300 pound SOB lay on me once in top side for 4 minutes straight, making pathetic attempts at a wrist lock. Now, I was a 2-3 stripe whitey at the time, and I permitted myself one spaz-out per month - a reasonable indulgence. So, after reaching a point of fury and annoyance, I squirmed, writhed, shrimped and pushed against him until we rolled over and I was in top side, leaving some purple belts snickering over by the wall... worth it!


markelis

I could've used your pointers, and rage, that day. Instead, I got tapped by the Waffle House Panda Smesh Express.


Reddit_has_big_gae

"[What are you gonna do big guy, sit on me](https://youtu.be/_0DGl9nvO2Y)?"


AwfulArmbar

I feel like when the weight gets into the 200s it starts being understandable to tap to pressure. There’s a guy at my gym who just smashes you with his weight forever. Eventually I’ll move to give him an easier submission just to end my suffering.


DRobs86

We have a brown belt at the gym that calls that cooking your opponent until they are eager to find a dignified way to tap.


YounomsayinMawfk

This happened to me once as a white belt. I tried to activate my frames but they kept sinking into the dude's flab. I remember trying to turn my face so I could get air and spending the whole round like that.


MyDictainabox

Had a seminar with a well known black belt. He asked me to be the guy he showed techniques on. He gets in my guard and before he can even get grips, I just dropped a huge fart flat on his lap. I was horrified and he just gave me a "Bro, wtf" look and moved on.


3angle83

1. *Ass*ert dominance. 2. ??? 3. Profit.


Rescuepa

Skunk guard?


t3hj4nk

This one made me legit lol. Thanks for making my night.


dvxcfx

Best oil check defense


9inety9ine

I hope you maintained eye contact.


struggleman55

Came back to jiujitsu after over 6 months of no training due to Covid. Don’t exercise a ton outside of jiujitsu so my cardio was kilt. I’m in my new city in a new gym and we start doing warmups. I noticed I’m getting pretty fucking winded just from basic movements, then we partner up and drill some positions. All the sudden, up comes my Panera bread lunch and it was not a pretty scene. Multiple people on the mats training and I continued puking violently before I made it to the bathroom. It all happened so fast I couldn’t even get to the bathroom or get off the mat in time. Truly my worst moment in jiujitsu and overall made me cringe for days even weeks after. I did sign up for classes after and everyone was super cool, shit was wild.


peterslabbit

I don’t like to make a habit of it but I will roll till i vomit on occasion when I’m rolling with an athletic teenager because I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let a teen that ain’t know shit about shit out wrestle me a grown ass man with like debt and shit. BUT that being said, in my experience, Never run for the bathroom. That’s a disaster waiting to happen. Sprint for the parking lot, because then you atleast know the doors will open out. Also cuz no one gives a fuck if you vomit on the sidewalk. Everyone cares if you vomit on the floor.


swissarmychainsaw

this guy pukes.


struggleman55

See, I would’ve taken much more pride in this scenario if I had puked after a hard roll. But this was warmups, and it couldn’t have been a worse situation. Needless to say my ego took a pretty good hit after that haha.


Jits_Guy

I accidentally made a newer guy at my gym puke. He had been a highschool wrestler and I was talking to him and showing him that being hyper aggresive doesn't always work as well in Jiujitsu. He was in my guard and he was getting tired trying to violently escape, threw his weight forward and slammed my chest trying to break my guard, so I scorpion crunched him. He tapped and almost didn't make it off the mat to the trashcan before he lost his lunch. Felt really bad about it. I did it because I thought it'd end it quickly as he was already pretty gassed and I could ask him to try flow rolling with me. Really I should have just let him work past my guard. Later I realized I was rationalizing doing a low percentage move on a newbie because he slammed me and I was annoyed. We both learned lessons that night. At the end of the day even though he was a competent grappler, he was still new to Jiujitsu.


egdm

Blue belt friend was letting white belts pass and hitting a bunch of baseball chokes. One asked me for help. I jump in, trying to show the counter armbar to the baseball choke. I fuck it up but finish the armbar while on the verge of consciousness. He taps. I stand up, immediately pass out, fall awkwardly, badly tear my MCL and meniscus. FML. Edit - Also, the time I found out that a guy I know from a gaming forum trained BJJ and was going to be in my area for work. He was a blue belt and was pulling the "I hope you can teach me some stuff!" angle. He shows up to my gym's open mat and he's some fucking 23 year old 6'4'' 240 lbs shredded viking throwback monstrosity with a decade of wrestling and was training as a full-time competitor at Renzo's/DDS. He proceeds to mercilessly beat my ass for an hour to the point where I can barely move, thanks me, and literally walks out of the gym whistling. (I am 5'10'' 180 and in my 40's with a family and job and was just back from a 6-month layoff due to above knee injury.) Life choices were reconsidered. Again.


Drivesrf

Nicky Rod?


itspinkynukka

That would be HILARIOUS.


egdm

It wasn't, but that would have been funny.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Drivesrf

He’s billed at 6’3, 220… not that far off!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Unique-Name

He is, likely exaggerated. Look @ him beside Gordon, whos maybe just above 6ft.


[deleted]

Man, you don't have much luck with blue belts.


ArfMadeRecruity

I think I read this once before, but still: Jesus Christ


Mrgud9

Oh wow brother!!!! Thanks for sharing this one


franzvondoom

that's because the counter to the baseball choke isn't an armbar. you can still get caught. the proper way to counter is: 1. be aware of the grips used for the baseball and 2. try a paper cutter choke on him instead.


egdm

> that's because the counter to the baseball choke isn't an armbar Eh. Letting them get the grips is inherently risky, but there is a reasonable near-side KOB armbar available if you prevent them from connecting their elbows and can maintain some posture. I was taught it by Lepri, so if you disagree you can take it up with him. Obviously, in this case I failed to execute.


Mrgud9

Wow…… just wow 😳


reuben515

First week Bow and arrow choke made me cry.


Pearcey1997

Understandable.


its_me_bruh

This is pretty normal. The baseball choke is the only move that makes me audibly gasp when they crank it on me.


artnos

Took me awhile to realize PB is purple belt, i thought you were saying peanut butter. Edit: to clarify more i thought he was implying the girl was really cute giving her some food nickname


Dick_Kickem12

Thought he was saying personal best at first


Reddit_has_big_gae

When people say BB I never know if it's blue, brown or black


AllGearedUp

Peanut butter is brown belt or naked man covered in jiff at my gym who I think is homeless


quixoticcaptain

but then how does he afford all the jiff?


ChocolateRAM

I was a blue belt, and a black belt that infrequently visited our gym stopped in for a class. We get matched up during the free rolling, he gets me in an americana. I know this move well as it's one of my go-to's, I know there is no getting out at this point but I didn't want to "lose" so I try to muscle out and straighten my arm. Loud pop, lots of pain, no training for a while after that. Still wonder wtf happened in my brain that day that I made that decision.


dvxcfx

That dude should have just let go, unless you pissed him off somehow. I constantly catch whites and blues, sometimes even purples in shit they couldn't possibly escape and they refuse to tap either from ego or ignorance of the move, so i just let go and try something new to avoid injuring them. I'd say this is only 15% your fault.


Temporary_Banana3855

Bro you're hitting so many subs that you get to pick and choose whether you hold onto subs or not? Fook me


MajesticGuava

You don't do this with noobs? You want more training partners not hospital bills.


hellriegel420

While someone was trying for a single leg throw, he accidentally kicked me on the inside of the thigh. I fell down, cause it hurt, then he tried to helped me up and accidentally stepped on my balls. I cried


Mrgud9

Hahahaha. Oh 😮. How much bad luck can you have in one evening 😭😭😭😭


biggirlbjj

Had the opportunity to meet Rigan Machado at a tournament and get a photo, I was holding a metal water bottle with rounded lid and rather than put it on the ground I stuck it between my legs just for a headshot. Person taking the photo went full body and I have a photo with Rigan Machado and what looks like a steel dildo on full erection.


smeeg123

Post it


biggirlbjj

It's way too embarrassing, don't want that image on the internet 😂


ArmSquare

I tapped to a kimura while I was in top mount.


Rosetta_FTW

I believe this is a rite of passage.


Reddit_has_big_gae

I kimura'd myself on a guy's head while tryharding for a guillotine


Fo0Li0

This is easily my favorite


Reddit_has_big_gae

It's not mine


CurtisJaxon

I tapped to a kimura from top side control to a cop during his first month of training😭 in my defense he's like 6'7 270


youngcuriousafraid

Don't feel too bad, someone in the UFC got choked out while in full mount (not mounted).


unknown_host

Aleksei Oleinik is known for those Ezekiel's.


youngcuriousafraid

that he is


pharfromhuman

Kimura trap?


ArmSquare

I wish. I got to mount and then he just locked it in


pharfromhuman

I've had that happen to me too. I've only been doing bjj for 2 months so I'm not even sure what it is they're doing exactly but I know it ends with me tapping to a Kimura while I'm in mount.


SuperDuckMan

The armbar is an excellent counter to that I believe, make it your friend.


Saabatical

I'm sorry but i literally started laughing at this one. Thank you for sharing.


ArmSquare

It's funny now, but it was pretty embarrassing at the time haha. An upper belt was watching and after he just asked me "Did that guy have some guard on you?" and I had to tell him no :(


Bacon_Villain

Oh god that makes it so much worse


posish

I once tapped to a guillotine when the guy was in my guard.


ArfMadeRecruity

Oof. I’ve been there when a giant 250 pound wrestler snatched one on me


bosseagleson

Got my first stripe on my purple at a new gym - I'm not sure they knew I had gotten my purple then taken a year off for Covid, since gyms in my new city never really shut down. First round rolling, I'm being lazy and letting a decent white belt keep a deep collar grip. Next thing I remember is him holding my legs in the air and everyone staring at me. Not a great night.


johnbugara

I had been training for maybe a couple weeks and got paired up with a 60 year old lady who was a blue belt. For reference I'm 6'4 200 lbs and decently athletic. I get her in a triangle and realize she has no arms in and is about to pass. rather then let that happen, I squeezed her head hard as fuck between my legs for the 2 minutes remaining in the round because she's a blue belt and if she got to side control I'm in trouble in my mind. after she just said "you have strong legs." I'm still so embarrassed about this 5 years later.


tsubatai

you fucking donkey. lol


A13TazOfficial

Gordon Ramsey? Is that you?


Pavswede

I'm an idiot sandwich!


johnbugara

to make matters worse I didn't even see anything wrong with it at the time and actually took the compliment. couple years later I had a random flashback about it and cringed so hard


REGUED

Damn that was hard to read


TamashiiNoKyomi

I hope you at least showered before


itspinkynukka

You could literally bench her off of you. Why??


johnbugara

in my mind blue belts had super powers and my ego wouldn't have been able to take getting tapped out by a 60 year old woman, so I decided to stop that pass at the cost of our dignity


Saltbaths156

I don’t get it, so was she like a god in your eyes or was she like some embarrassing person to lose to


johnbugara

I'm a conflicted person


LittleKobald

I cackled thank you for this


JustAnotherSoyBoy

Because she’s a very old woman. It definitely has hypocrisy to it but it makes sense. I just never got the whole ego thing on losing rolls. Like your training not fighting, nobody ever knows if you let them get things off on you or they actually did. I only ever even go 100% on rolls with people I’m on a similar level and even then it’s sparring cause I’m a lazy fuck.


Mrgud9

Humans are competitive, ESPECIALLY men in a combat sport like BJJ where you can get mauled by somebody who you think would never be able to beat you. Once that bubble of illusion pops, aka Ego Checked, that hurts like a biiiiaaatch, and sometimes we still don’t want to accept it so we don’t tap. Hope that explains it


Reddit_has_big_gae

I feel like the priest at a confessional


johnbugara

this one's been on my chest for a while


Reddit_has_big_gae

It's ok my son, make amends and you shall be free


AwfulArmbar

Why is this so accurate


TheCuff6060

She is a blue belt for a reason. Hammer down and defend yourself.


AtraxaInfect

Fuck sakes, beating up OAPs is a new low.


therealkevinskii

To be fair, she could have tapped.


ArfMadeRecruity

Lmao


Beaudism

Damn dude


Fearless_Inside6728

Honestly I have no words


TmfGD

Even though this one is only embarrassing to you and the woman and not the whole class, I still think you win


johnbugara

it was so bad bro


puravida2222

This is so so funny ije if the best bjj stories I have read and that's no snark I literally giggled the whole time. Reading this


Mrgud9

That’s hilarious bro, great story


dvxcfx

It's ok, bud. She's probably dead by now so you don't have to worry about it anymore.


RainyPlanet

I got cross collar choked inside my own closed guard.


AllGearedUp

Same. Rip


9inety9ine

Same.


eman_resu_tluafed

I got Ezekiel in my own closed guard...at purple belt... more than once.


SamSamBjj

I feel like Ezekiel is the only one that's legitimately allowed to work, because with a cross combat you should be able to frame away, but with an Ezekiel that tightens it.


artnos

Not that embarrassing i was rolling with a smaller guy no gi, and it was a great fun roll. I thought we were at the same level or blue. I would ask him to roll often. A couple weeks later in gi class i learned he was a black belt. Lol. There should be awards giving out to fooling other belts that you are at there level when your much higher.


AllGearedUp

That's the sign of a good teacher or classmate I think


swissarmychainsaw

ah yes, the "grey belt" master!


ArfMadeRecruity

First competition after getting promoted to blue belt, thought I was a gangster. Went out on the mat, got swept, and ate shit in side control for 4.75 minutes. Non-gangster status confirmed.


starbrow_

Better than getting flying arm barred in 15 seconds in your first comp like what happened to me lol


ArfMadeRecruity

Damn. At my first (white) I entered the absolute division, tried to stand up with a 6’7 280 pounder, and got picked up and lateral dropped like a baby infant/immediately sprained my rib


AllGearedUp

My first class was at an open mat with a 3 stripe white belt 6'10 350lbs. Uh. I did not learn


MDgard_pagan

That's a walking injury factory, not a human being jesus.


Jits_Guy

I feel like it starts to get a little unfair as your opponent approaches seven feet tall.


tsubatai

My literal nightmare every time I compete. Sorry brutha.


True-Row2319

My first competition as a white belt was me flopping around in side control for 3 minutes before getting my trachea crushed.


iAmMidwayer

there was a world-class black belt who visited for some weeks our gym due to being in holidays, he was rolling with a purple belt. A white belt that was resting, started coaching the black belt :)) edit: I don't think I actually answered the topic, sad.


BIGBOIBENJI5675

Obviously white belt knew something Mr. “World Class” didn’t.


itspinkynukka

Second hand embarrassment.


Reddit_has_big_gae

10 years into this shit, been choked a million times like all of you. I know exactly where my limit is. I go to open mat a few weeks ago, a guy gets me in a bulldog choke in about 15 seconds (the shame). Pressure builds, I tap, he lets go. A few seconds pass as I give him a nod and a fistbump, then the entire milky way unravels before my eyes like I'm going through Nolan's wormhole. I'm feeling fine but a little light headed and vision is fucked. 4-5 seconds later my sight comes back but I'm at the other end of the mat. Apparently my balance was waaayyyy off and I wobbled my way over without even knowing. Didn't know chokes could hit you like that.


Ozymandias0023

I've only gone out once and it was while I was the uke for some post roll review. My coach at the time was a very thick-limbed individual and I'm pretty wide, so when he got me in a triangle position and started talking to the class without consciously applying pressure, I was already in a blood choke. I didn't realize how bad it was until he was just about to finish the sequence, switched to an arm bar, and I felt myself drift off. Woke up a few seconds later not really knowing what had happened. I had to think about it a minute later to realize he'd been low key choking me through the whole demonstration


moarturnips

went for a double leg, farted huge, whole gym went silent followed by laughter. went to resume rolling and my partner asked to move to a different part of the gym. Could have been worse. Made me laugh, but was still embarrassing.


Pristine-Savings7179

Really full night, lots of new people, visiting black belt, the whole shabang. During rolling, a very beautiful girl starts recording around. Later I found out she's an Instagram model, has a huge following on social media. So you know...whether consciously or not, I'm trying my best to make the highlight reel lol. At one point, I think I might have been chasing a knee bar or whatever, when my partner decided to do a deep pant grip and strip my butt naked while I'm upside down. Of course I abort all positions to pull my shit up, I scan the place to see who saw my butt cheeks and just see the girl watching and filming directly to my area maybe 6 feet away FML


Mrgud9

Hahahahaha that’s awesome. A true FML moment


[deleted]

Not my embarassment for this one. One time I drop into an old friends school for nogi class and he introduces to me to a purple belt as 'my friend firstname' and suggests we roll. This guy sees my dad bod and Kmart activewear ensemble and assumes I'm a friend from outside of BJJ and not a training partner of his blackbelt coach going back 2 decades. So he takes a seated guard and says stuff like 'try to get past my legs - we call it 'passing guard', just tap me with your hand if you're in trouble'. By how he is sitting and where his hands are I know exactly what Marcello Garcia DVD stuff he wants to try on me, its like telepathy. So I just slowly and deliberately flatten this guy using old school Mario Sperry bootleg vhs tape BJJ for 5 minutes straight. He can't stop my guard passing and can't escape anything, he is just hanging on the whole time. I'm gift wrapping him, tapping him with scarfhold pressure, mounted arm triangles, etc. I can feel the swagger leaving his body. I've never seen someone's demeanour change so much between the start and end of a roll.


Diablo165

> gift wrapping . >mounted arm triangles I do a LOT of this, and would like to do more and get good with scarfhold! >Mario Sperry bootleg vhs tape Can you give me information about this? I'd LOVE to check it out.


[deleted]

In the days of VHS, Mario Sperry came out with these instructional videos. Just him demonstrating with Ricardo Arona and Murilo Bustamante I think. They were really good, lots of practical techniques and he laid out a full gameplan. I only ever saw like 3rd generation dubbed copies of them that people shared around clubs. They were unintentionally pretty funny too with Mario Sperry's English, some of which is on Youtube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fmjng-o4n1c Swearing, calling the hips 'ribs' repeatedly, at one point he even says 'faggot punches'.


uwflyer

class was pretty crowded. we were doing randori and i was doing well all night so i was super into it. i had side control of my partner but he was about to get half guard so i spin around and accidentally give a very nice female member a spinning heel kick right in the face. she screamed, everyone stopped rolling and watched me apologize. she said she was fine but i guess i'll never truly know. i don't remember if we crossed paths again, this was a while ago. ​ my bad.


SFWACCOUNTBETATEST

i flipped a guy from mount into the edge of a bench last night. we had no idea where we were. he's my usual partner at nogi. he said he was cool but he didn't say goodbye. i feel bad.


trevster344

Rolling with a guy who is now a good friend of mine about 6 months into my training. He has long lanky legs and puts me into a rear naked. I squirm around trying to do anything to stop him and he somehow gets me into some kind of reversed triangle with his legs. Next thing I know I’m dreaming when suddenly I wake up again. He didn’t think he had it right so he adjusted which inadvertently woke me up and not long after the round buzzer went off so I didn’t have to survive much longer lol. Didn’t tell him for a couple years lmao.


quixoticcaptain

I trained at the same gym as my coworker for a while, he was a blue belt training for about 2 years, me about a 6-month white belt. I was just beginning to have some sense of what I was doing. I guess because I knew this guy, I felt like I should be competitive with him or something? He tapped me with a paper cutter choke a couple of times and after the second I basically slammed the mat in frustration. He was like "are you ok?" He was younger than me too. I don't know why I was so surprised that a blue belt did what he's supposed to do to a white belt.


dgio

I had seen a tutorial on how to do an arm triangle from mount and we were doing positional sparring. I was on mount and decided to try it having never drilled it once. My training partner was a really tough blue belt. I forget that it’s a head and shoulder choke and just basically wrap my arms around his head then move my body off of mount and off to the side. I think I have the choke in, but my professor who’s observing and is a 12x world champion says “dgio what are you doing? Look he has his arms crossed he’s not even fighting back you don’t have a choke” and I look back and he has his arms crossed likes he’s annoyed and I clearly am not choking, or even cranking, him. White belt moment for sure.


Bimose-Makwa

Not just BJJ but that’s what was used on me so to speak. My first day I was going into an MMA gym and it was a rough old style place so they were going to let me spar in wrestling on day one. I’m a natural heavyweight and grew up in bad neighborhoods and expected I would just out muscle the 5’6” 160lbs man they out in front of me(I would have been 6’0” and 265) This guy took me down, mounted me, slapped my face and took my back then mounted me again, it was merciless and I learned a lot that day.


Domo_Omoplato

I was a fresh blue belt helping out a friend who was running a charity seminar. I was taking names and entry fees whilst also participating. Someone comes in super late and starts walking straight through on to the mats. I, thinking he’s being kinda rude, stop him before he gets too far across the mats, explain to him that this is a seminar and point him to the sign up sheet telling him he can sign up if he wants to participate. Only then does he tell me that he was the last guest instructor, and it clicks into place for me that I recognise him because his face was dead center the poster.


jumborickuta

My 3rd tournament as a Blue belt. Just a in house kind of thing, a few clubs from around the province show up. I thought I was going to have an easy fun day. Tapped out to an armbar in all 3 of my matches that day. Total time on the mats was under 60 seconds. That one definitely stung.


MajesticGuava

So um did you learn armbar escapes?


Kintanon

My first day in the Gi after a couple of years training no-gi. I got paired up with this scrawny 15 year old green belt. I thought I was gonna kill this kid. It was the instructor's son and about 11 seconds into the roll I started to black out for NO REASON. Except there was a reason, he had both hands deep in my collar and I had no idea that was even a thing until that exact moment.


SuperDuckMan

Those kid belts man, they’ve often been training since they were like 5


oxdp954

I got cross choked by a white belt who I had mounted...I refused to tap, and went unconscious...


teethteetheat

A purple belt was trying to give standup wrestling advice to the new white belt. Who he knew was a d1 wrestler. 😑


moneymay195

I mean could be legit advice. I wrestled and feel like I’ve had to make adjustments to my standup game to accommodate BJJ, especially in the gi. I basically avoid high crotch shots or double legs sometimes because I’ve rolled with black belts that have naaasty guillotines. Some of the techniques we can utilize as wrestlers can be countered when you introduce submissions and new rule set


toofatforjudo

1. First day in BJJ . I was a judo guy and had been for a few years before taking 4 years off to study so I was thinking I would be fairly ok as a white belt. Prior to starting everyone knows I'm judo guy with my double weave fuji gi and having to introduce myself (which sucks if you're new). Since it's my first day I ask what the rules are and they say you can do anything you want other than small joint, striking, fish hook , eyepoke. I was ok but worried about things like leg locks Starting from the knees I sweep everyone fairly easily to the ground get side control/ kesa. So I'm fairly happy that I'm not being tapped left, right and centre. Next thing I know this guy regains guard and throws up a triangle. I don't know what I was thinking but I straight away decided that I would pick him up and get matte. Well next thing you know we've got this rampage Jackson situation and he's like what the fuck? Along with everyone else. I was mortified. Only thing that would make it worse would have been if I'd powerbombed him. I was the spazz guys. 2. One day I decided to play a bit more bottom game. This 70kg girl was going up against me and she armbarred me about 6 times in 3 minutes. Identical each time. Passes the guard full mount s mount arm bar. She was a white belt. Eish. I was a fish out of the water that day.


MoonpawX

I just got promoted to my purple belt, and my very first round in the next class I got triangled less than thirty seconds in. By an eleven year old kid who was half my size.


Fandorin

It wasn't on the mats, but at the office (couple of years ago). My company was acquired by another, so we're in a new space and I don't know the people. I'm by no means a killer on the mats, but I feel like a beast in my soft corporate environment. I see a smaller dude by the elevators with a BJJ bag, so I get excited and start a convo, thinking my at the time 4 stripes on my blue belt was a superpower. Turns out the guy is a competition black belt and just won some major tournament in Europe before moving back to US.


SamSamBjj

What's the fuck up? You're still allowed to talk to the guy.


SpeculationMaster

the black belt choked him out before he could finish the story


mrtuna

He's also allowed to namedrop him lol


harylmu

Whats the punch line broski


Puzzleheaded_Face583

he didn't call him "Professor"


ring_rust

A dude taking his first ever class submitted me with a lapel choke. At the time, I had never submitted finished anyone with said move.


ACE_C0ND0R

Was rolling one early morning with a good blackbelt. He got me in a north/south choke, but I had a few fingers in. I thought to myself, "I think I can get out of this...", but before I could finish that sentence I switched to, "I'm so tired, I think I'll just close my eyes for a second." Next thing I know I'm looking up and he was shaking my gi asking if I'm all right. I coughed and said, "Yeah, I'm great. What are we doing again?" He laughed and said maybe I should sit on the wall for a couple of rounds until I figure it out. It was my fault. I overestimated my abilities and should have tapped. At least I learned something from it.


Spare_Question2698

I’m 55yrs old purple belt . Once while doing warm ups we were doing slap outs on the mats single file . I wasn’t paying attention and when I went to slap out the last guy was still there. Well I had to pull up and straight arm the mat and popped my shoulder. Tore my rotator cuff


wyattbreymeyer

after about 3 months of consistent classes i finally got my group of friends to watch a class, well a little info on my coach, he love technical mount or more north south, i call nuts on forehead, was in that position for 5 min and them giggling when he took my back


Rambostips

Only last week, i was rolling with a blue belt i have rolled with often. He is also a black belt in judo. First round i spanked him, felt great. Next round i was cocky, he passed my guard and pressure tapped me with kesa gatame. To be fair he is 100kg. The embarrassing thing was someone was watching and at the start of the round i caught his eye and smiled. 1 min later i pressure tapped. It will live with me a long time.


SuperDuckMan

Hahahaha never let a judoka get you in kesa, much less a heavy one.


the_wrath_of_Khan

An 18-year-old female brown belt triangled me so hard I farted. She's competing just below the top level at black belt now. I was like a 0 or 1 stripe white belt and I'm around 6'4". It was hilarious and I felt bad.


Diablo165

Ha! I triangled a thai food fart out of my buddy the other day and we had to clear that part of the mat for a bit


Key-Impression4391

Few months in, I was a 240+ lb ex football linemen. Choked unconscious by a 140# woman. Hooked for lifeeeeeeee.


TheLilyHammer

Was the highest belt student in class one day and prof asked me to uke for my first time ever. He got on his back I started getting him in side control thinking he was doing a side control escape. He said “oh no, arm bar” and I was like “cool” and quickly tried to switch to an arm bar and just straight up brought my foot down on his balls. He winced it off but I know he remembers that day.


REDMAGE00

Was put in a solid outside heel hook by a white belt and collegiate level wrestler. Thought I knew better as a blue belt and that I could escape before the knee snapped. 6 second later my lcl tears. 72 hours before my first bjj match on an mma fight card. Promoter was mad and I took 8 weeks off.


bjjaccount

What's a peanut butter girl?


xertshurts

Someone you're jelly of.


Psycho-Knot821

Similar - very butch girl that I was a foot taller and 70-80lb heavier arm barred the fuck out of me first class. I was a bouncer at the time at a ghetto ass club in south Florida so I thought I could fight. This was in 2002, it was gutting as a young douche bag to be owned like that by a chick, but 19 years later I’m still here training and talking about it so 🤷🏽‍♂️


Christmastoast

Was a fresh bluebelt and a 4 stripe blue belt drops in from out of town. We had I think like 3 rolls, and he shut down anything and everything I did, all with a smile on his face and saying Oss constantly. Cried the whole drive home lol


Chrome_Quixote

North south with sweat from the shorts going on your face and in your mouth. Side mount or full mount with sweat dripping off their head or body onto my face and or in my mouth.


Normal_guy420

One time as I got taken down I ripped out a fart.


UUDM

First day of gi class, I had done no-gi for about a month or two before this so I knew very little. I get paired with a 14 year old grey belt close to half my size, my first thought is I could maybe just survive for 5 minutes. I got absolutely ragdolled and submitted for 5 minutes straight and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I rolled with her for the first time since then just last night after about 9 months of straight training and could not submit her to save my life. Its good to get ego checked, it keeps me grounded.


MediumRareMoa

14 year old is a green belt. Training since he was 6. Coach moved him up with the adults because he had no one to roll with. Boy is super quick. Oceania and National Champ in Gi and No Gi. Loves catching ankles, wicked with guard, He's slim but quite tall for his age. An absolute nightmare for fresh whitebelts much stronger than him but with far less skill. I have no single story to tell but this boy embarrass adults on a regular. I was one when I first started a couple of years ago.


btkk

I farted at my master's face while he was doing a stack pass, that was embarassing


zombizle1

not as embarassing as calling him master


dvxcfx

Was it as embarassing as having to call someone master


eman_resu_tluafed

I was a brown belt and we were doing pass and keep and I caught the most pathetic excuse of a collar choke as he swept me and I cranked for dear life, even though there was no way I was finishing that choke. I felt pretty bad after, and he was reasonably pissed off. A few months later, he got his spiritual revenge when he quietly switched the last round of a shark tank that I was in the middle of from 2 minutes to 5. Turned out that shark tank was my black belt test, because I got it that night.


Jacross

I was once in top side control and the guy on bottom did that weird bottom cross collar choke thing and I guess my ego didn't allow me to believe this was an acceptable turn of events so in any case he put me to sleep and I recall waking up saying something nonsensical like 'Help me George Washington' (which is just something I've inserted post hoc because it is similar to a scene in The Simpsons).


kairarage

Probably going back as a purple post covid and getting my ass kicked by whites and blues for two weeks.


guamilipino07

Oh my god. During my bluebelt days. There was this big whitebelt who I was playing with in my full guard. He had only been training for a month and tried to cross choke me while he was in the guard. I of course, would then proceed to try and armbar him but he was too big that I cant pendulum swing far enough to get my hips across the center-line, in order to finish. I felt the choke tightening up but my ego was telling me that this wont work, not in a full guard and I can still get an armbar if I adjust or try a different way of getting it. Long story short, I fell asleep.


Banana-Louigi

I am this female PB. The second hand embarrassment is real.


tsida

We had a training partner who didn't believe that anything bad could happen in his closed guard. He would literally say you can't tap someone in closed guard. So several people including myself Ezekiel choked him in his guard. Shortly after he asked the coach to teach Ezekiel chokes after class. Coach demonstrated and then this guy yells 'but these chokes don't work in closed guard RIGHT?' Like dude was so deluded even though he just experienced it first hand he denied it works.


halfcastaussie

I watched a purplebelt tap a high level completive blackbelt with a flying triangle. I am sure that rattled this specific persons massive ego.