T O P

There will be a last human to ever live, and he will just sit there with no one to talk to till he dies

There will be a last human to ever live, and he will just sit there with no one to talk to till he dies

Rivers_story

Unless the species is wiped out by a cataclysm all at once...


Shyriath

In the immortal words of Tom Lehrer, [we will all go together when we go](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs).


nkarkas

That line gets seriously deep real fast


sascottie11

There’ll be no misery when the worlds a rotisserie🤷‍♂️


DaBiz_017

Wonder if the dinosaurs said this line as they cooked


Executedboat

I fucking love this comment


Acysbib

Have you listened to the song, yet?


RVFVS117

Why this song isn’t in a Fallout game I do not know


calvicstaff

Seriously, if they would have asked I think he would have been cool about it, if his letter to 2 Chainz about sampling his music was any indication


ytivarg18

Thank you for introducing me to this genius


ArcticIceFox

r/unexpectedtomlehrer


DB-2000

When he sang "nearly 3 billion hunks of well-done steak" that really made me realize how fast earths population is growing. I mean we’re at nearly 8 billion hunks of steak nowadays and of course you can see it in graphs but it’s much more thought-provoking when you hear it in words from a person **that’s still alive**.


skorpen2

[At 93 he's still waiting.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Lehrer)


rasmatham

The guys at the ISS are just vibing to the sick bass coming from Earth


jonp1

Yep. That would be my guess.. If it’s a human extinction event, it’s probably not leaving one straggler for any amount of time worth trying to measure.


markmyredd

I think since humans are so widespread there wouldn't be an instant human extinction. Even an asteroid hit would probably allow some to survive a few days or so.


Toolux

This just depends on the size, speed and angle of the object hitting us I would assume.


aohige_rd

Nah, completely depends on the size of what's hitting us. If a comet the size of the moon falls on Earth no human is surviving that even for a short while. Or any creature bigger than an ameba.


Assassiiinuss

There are plenty of potential catastrophes that could wipe out everything on the planet at once.


SIRLANCELOTTHESTRONG

don't give 2021 any new ideas


JohnDoee94

Someone would still have to be the last one. They probably wouldn’t know it .


mushwoomb

Yeah that’s my guess. No matter how the human race dies out, I doubt the last person will realize/know they’re the last. With the world being so big for one person; they would probably assume there are other humans elsewhere — on a different continent or even in a basement nearby, you’d literally have no idea. And like another comment here says, if it’s a cataclysmic earth-wide event, the “last person” would be the last for an amount of time not worth measuring. It depends so much on “how the world will end,” but having one person be left with the knowledge that they’re the only one is probably the least likely


Justryan95

Someone still has to be the last one to die even if it's 2 milliseconds after the second to last person.


Rivers_story

True but that's not like the last person on earth sitting alone with no-one to talk to.


oktin

But for two milliseconds... Yeah... You're right...


Justryan95

I dunno about you but 2 milliseconds at work feels like years. That's a pretty long time


DWright_5

That’s much more likely


Wubwubber

Assuming there's no post-human species that has come around since then.


I_might_be_weasel

"I'm so lonely. I may never have another conversation again." "Sir, this is a Wendy's" "Quiet, snake person, I wasn't talking to you!"


motnock

Hsss Hs Hs Hsss Hs Hs Hsss Hs Hs Hsss 🎶


dwrk92

Dig that snake jazz


CapitainNumo

Jasssss


650blaze_it

Badum Hss


Knaeghtt

I would probably talk to myself


TheBrianRoyShow

Don't have to be the last human on the planet for that. I'm much better at talking to myself than other humans.


ricelotus

Yeah I talk to myself all the time


genro_21

I talk to myself and we both laugh


WTF1972

Just make sure you have a volleyball, all you need apparently.


iduck839

They could probably talk with AI or something


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iduck839

A battery will run for a while after. I still don't think humanity will end slowly with one person left standing. Some event will happen and we'll all die at once.


Cheap-Owl-5338

Nope On June 13 2523, there will be 3 left. 2 will die The last man will spend June 14, 2523 to August 6 of that same year surviving like Tom Hanks on that island. Then he dies


hopingforabetterpast

!RemindMe 501 years 9 months


88Ashitaka88

Optimistic you, to give us 502 years. I'd say 200 at a push at this rate


RGBgamerchairboi

More like 20


ShadowKirbo

optimistic giving us a whole 20 years.


Asaiju

It’s 5 at least 10.5 at most


Almond_Esq

"Now think about this Dwight, 11 months"


Asaiju

Lmao let’s make it 6 months


May420BeWithYou

you sure you didn’t mean June 1 2345?


ioughtabestudying

Oh so you haven't yet heard about the AI becoming sentient and building a robot workforce for itself and ruling over mankind and oh yes I support our supreme rulers and am a mere tiny human who grovels in front of the mightly electronic overlords and the holy microchip please phone that I type this on please don't kill me.


nkarkas

What the fucks that downvote all about?? Lol


Cheap-Owl-5338

Losers


nkarkas

Haha fuckem!


eaglenate

And chances are, they will have no idea that they are the last human on Earth.


LazyBird_

Exactly, for me this is the real shower thought. Humanity may disappear without even knowing it did. The last person will probably believe that there are thousands of survivors isolated across the globe, not knowing that their specie is dying with them !


Squid8867

That, and/or there will likely be hundreds to thousands of people that incorrectly believe that _they_ are the last human on Earth


CT24601

More than one person can die at once


Ryangel0

Futhermore, it would likely be that there exists multiple last people on earth at different locations on the planet that will each go through this experience at varying times throughout our extinction


margery-meanwell

Maybe we will all die at the same time from radiation or something.


IllusoryHeart

This is a pretty meh shower thought, and you only made it worse with your comments lmao


elente1

It might be a she, not a he. Women tend to outlive men.


sihpo

r/whywomenlivelonger


joshpyxis

I was about to post myself that it was bold to assume the last person on earth will be male


FlyingThunder2992

this often comes from a non english speaker, i would intuitively always write he, because human is male in my language.


joshpyxis

It was more having a go at OP who I can’t stand but thank you for the insight :)


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Jeahn2

In what?


TimeTravelMishap

We win at peeing standing up?


Jeahn2

fair enough


cursed-being

I’ve seen toilets you supposed to squat over like urinals but in the floor in both men and presumably women’s restrooms so yes but actually no


Chyvalri

Getting paid more for doing the same job?


Jeahn2

thats sad


Chyvalri

Very :(


zombear33

I'm a man, and I think it'd be a woman. Us men do dumb shit all the time, that's why it's woman, wo-man! Don't be an idiot.


theosuntoxic

could be a they or ze


smapdi84

Not when society collapses and physical strength matters once again.


ATribeCalledDaniel

Boy you know you’ll be snapped in half stop playin


swaggy_light

Sexism at its finest


ec1991

What if we get sucked into a black hole and we all go at the same time. Plus it's highly unlikely that we'll die out in a way which leaves just one person alive


Tropic_Ocean651

Time dilation will make it so one guy at the furthest side away from the black hole has to watch everyone else get sucked in for eternity


oktin

>Get sucked for eternity Not the worst way to go...


ec1991

Highly unlikely it would be just one person


smapdi84

Nah. I see a bad disease as the best case for extinction level. Small tribes and hermits will live on for a while until localized catastrophe slowly dwindle their numbers, until finally one dude is in a cabin in the woods and doesn't even know he's all that's left.


veinybirdlegs

Bro ur so bad at these shower thoughts just stop


Pithyperson

Perhaps he will have killed everyone else, just for a little peace and quiet.


r0b0t11

The loneliness will probably compel him to build a simulation using all the accumulated knowledge and technology the human race left behind. Then maybe he'll live in that simulation as one of the beings being simulated, not as himself. Then he can avoid the feeling of loneliness by living life after life after life until he remembers his true nature and realizes yet again that he is still, forever, alone.


Stome77

Bold to assume it'll be a guy to be the last one to die


_Bryant_

Not necessarily. Evolution isn't a beginning or end, but a gradual change.


Cheap-Owl-5338

It is w 100% certainty that humanity will end that way


Buzzrod81

Not if the last humans get nuked. There's lots of scenarios where the last group of humans dies at the same time. What if they left the planet as humanities last chance and the space ship explodes. Last humans all die simultaneously.


_Bryant_

quite the assumption.


May420BeWithYou

*with with


waldo667

At some stage, the egg came first and what hatched out of it was a chicken. But what laid that egg, was removed enough to not be known as a chicken itself. Perhaps the last human will just be able to talk to the humans who have already evolved past being what we now call human?


depressed_asian_boy_

Maybe the earth gets destroyed all at once


ckayfish

Very unlikely. More likely disaster takes of everyone, or the last one is running for his terrified life till it/they get him too


CarlJustCarl

I feel like that sometimes working from home in my basement


clintCamp

Unless we keep evolving, in which where do you define the line of this guy is a human, but everyone else has become something more.


Spaceboot1

There will be a last human to ever live, and she will be in a zoo exhibit.


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May420BeWithYou

judging by their reply i’d say this troll is dumb af and lacking any tiny bit of creativity


Illustrious_Bar_1970

She* we all know the last person will be the queen of England C'mon.


WhatIsUpWithThat05

Bold of you to assume she will ever die at all


queen_of_england_bot

>queen of England Did you mean the [Queen of the United Kingdom](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Queen_of_the_United_Kingdom), the [Queen of Canada](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Canada), the [Queen of Australia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monarchy_of_Australia), etc? The last Queen of England was [Queen Anne](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anne,_Queen_of_Great_Britain) who, with the 1707 Acts of Union, dissolved the title of King/Queen of England. ####FAQ *Isn't she still also the Queen of England?* This is only as correct as calling her the Queen of London or Queen of Hull; she is the Queen of the place that these places are in, but the title doesn't exist. *Is this bot monarchist?* No, just pedantic. I am a bot and this action was performed automatically.


Ratstar911

Well, he could read books. Unless his glasses broke. (Time enough at last episode of twilight zone)


Cheap-Owl-5338

They will break


inkyrail

Nah, he/she will die with the rest of us


asdfasdlfi

Sounds like an average day.


Cheap-Owl-5338

in hell


asdfasdlfi

At least satan supports a woman’s right to choose.


Cheap-Owl-5338

No he doesn't. All he wants to do is torture women


asdfasdlfi

We torture ourselves. Don’t scapegoat an imaginary being.


Cheap-Owl-5338

lmfao, you're literally defending the ultimate embodiment of evil


asdfasdlfi

https://youtu.be/Jwtyn-L-2gQ


WhatIsUpWithThat05

God kills more in the Bible than satan does


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asdfasdlfi

No more updoots for you. Cheap owl.


Cheap-Owl-5338

updoot me or else


asdfasdlfi

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Marriage_of_Heaven_and_Hell


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smapdi84

I feel the last person to live will have already been living a sheltered hermit life somewhere. They will likely be able to avoid whatever killed the rest of us off even if they don't know it.


jfkolbe

Well thank God he can still jerk off.


RGivens

sign me up


whirligig231

He'll probably spend his last moments recording an eyewitness account of the weird hivemind children destroying the planet so the aliens can gather data. (Bonus points if you get the reference, though it is pretty much a spoiler for the book.)


jivygraphics

This also assumes that they have language in this post-apocalyptic world you are postulating.


Avy8

Unless it’s my wife, she’ll still be talking.


Eziekel13

Here’s the last make bird of its kind singing…Looking for a mate… https://youtu.be/LrcCK2zERdM


XDcloud

At one point in time there will be emptiness and darkness for eternity.


ShinyAeon

You just assume we won’t meet another species that we can converse with…?


reddit-boi69

Imagine the loneliness and boredom of being the last person alive u couldn't even have anyone to fight


kia75

reminds me of [The Loneliest Whale in the World](https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2021/jul/13/loneliest-whale-in-the-world-search) A single whale, that sings at a 52hz pitch, the only whale that does so on the entire planet. Because his voice is so high, it's theorized that other whales can't hear him, and he's thought to be the last whale of either his species or tribe. At the very least no other whales sing at the pitch except for him. I can see the last human, just wandering around humming or singing to himself, just like this whale.


Human_Version

Or she


libertysailor

This cannot be known. Humanity might be wiped out abruptly. Black holes, giant nukes, meteors… who knows. It could also be an evolutionary tree where someone is the last human, but he can talk to the species that evolved from humans


Kapika96

Honestly seems unlikely. The last humans, whether that's a few thousand or 7.891 billion will likely all die at the same time. The chances of just 1 outliving all the rest seem incredibly low.


Straightus

Or she?


UghTakeThis

Na hell most likely draw a face on a volleyball. He then has someone to talk to


Goldpatch

Bold of you to assume the last human doesn’t have a parrot companion.


illnemesis

Lots of people will die like this with a potential 8,000,000,000 people to interact with.


SantiDropper

OP clearly born after the release of the Tom Hanks classic Castaway.


Harsimaja

> he Statistically, ‘she’ is surely more likely, based in life expectancy. Alternatively, 1. Everyone is wiped out very quickly by a massive disaster that doesn’t allow for much chance to sit around waiting 2. We slowly evolve and in a couple of million years (or whatever) we are definitely another genus (though we run into questions of arbitrary definition), but there is no clear single point in time at which this occurs and no ‘last’ human, and even if there were (and we made up some definition or boundary for one to exist) they could talk to the initial stages of what came next. Both of these seem more likely to me. Though in the second case I imagine they could be the last isolated member of Homo hiding out somewhere remote when the main replacement evolved gradually somewhere else.


TheOneWhoReadsStuff

Nah, he or she can talk to the animals. I talk to my dog more than I talk to anyone else.


awellknowndick

He might have some AI to converse with


IM_RIMURU_THE_SLIME

The last human being was sitting in a room. Then he heard a knock on the door


OutlandishnessOk7304

.. or she


Epicsharkmonster_E

or they


netGoblin

He? You already know who it is????


Michael-J-Foxtrot

they\*


trapazoid87

This is incredibly unlikely to happen


ahuruglica

Last person is going to be a she.


AmareWater

Or she


failcape99

Bold of you to assume it's going to be a "he"


88Ashitaka88

It will.


Cheap-Owl-5338

Who has better survival skills, men or women


Morrowk

With society the way it is now, probably men on average? But that’s certainly not enough for me to bet on men. Women are just as capable.


GroverTheForest

Or she


JarJarBinksSucks

They won’t have long on their own. Mostly likely milliseconds, just after the fireball


Cheap-Owl-5338

Fireball from where


JarJarBinksSucks

The fireball from outer space


Cheap-Owl-5338

What will cause it


JarJarBinksSucks

Couple of possibilities, a comet or asteroid on a collision course with earth or aliens Edit: of course we could always talk about the heat death of the universe


Shkeke

Jar Jar does not suck


JarJarBinksSucks

He does though


capture_the_sun

You are in his imagination now. He's sitting beneath a tree that died long ago next to where water used to run. In a valley that was once an ocean. The world ages and goes through cycles, yet he remains.He's simply there, satisfied with what is, and isn't, what was, and what will be. He's the first, and last immortal. There was others like him, but he's all that remains now, the only true immortal. It all began with him, and with him it will end. But he was never really there, as we aren't really here. He came from nothing, as did we, and from and in nothing we find ourselves now. In the imagination of nothing subjected to his shifting in memories. Infinite possibilities and we're here. If only he gave us his ability to shift reality to our whims. Maybe he did. Maybe we're from where and what we came from. Maybe we are imagination in control of imagination.


Way2goYouDied

Wow that was a bit poetic


Additional_Writing49

She. We all know men always die first.


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Rainy-Day-Magdalene

That’s ok little troll, speaking for women everywhere we are not a fan if you either. No big loss for us!


SupremeLiving007

This is definitely food for thought.


GallifreyKnight

Since a virus will kill us all, the last man standing will be a hermit who hasn't talked to anyone else for 15 years. One day, he'll say "No one has bothered me in 15 years. Good.".


Raychao

Evolution is a continuum.. The last human will probably be speaking to something that is not a human just before he dies..


cuminabox74

*they, don’t be so male normative.


Cheap-Owl-5338

HE they is plural


yunbro

just search it up. "they" isn't only plural, but also stands for a person of unspecified gender. it's even used in sentences, where the gender of someone is just clearly unknown


mattsmistake

*she


Cheap-Owl-5338

He


quarpoders

Plot twist, it’s not a man but in fact a woman!!


gamirl

Depends on what you believe in. If you're religious you might believe that the last day will come with many people still living. If you're non religious there's also a big possibility that humanity will end with a big disaster like the dinosaurs or an atomic bomb etc.


Atomsteel

Why not both?


PerfectLuck25367

Made me think of [that song by Tom Lehrer](https://youtu.be/frAEmhqdLFs)


sznfpv

No he’ll get a whole bunch of books and pile them on stairs to get ready to read them and then drop his glasses and step on them.


Cheap-Owl-5338

Rod Serling


DichotomyJones

Not if she says the Deplorable Word!


Ferna_89

I'm quite sure the last human is very likely to die drowning in a muddy myasma while trying to get a drop of water to drink.


cursed-being

Well unless a person who was 99% whatever next and their wife who is also 99% of whatever’s next have a kid and the kid is super attractive, strong, and all the things that give it the highest chance of more kids then if those genes are all dominant then as their second gen human 2s have gen 3 and so on the last person to still technically be human as we are today would be close enough to still be able to communicate with the Human 2s their learned behavior would be similar to that of where the humans they are descendants of are from and whatever cultures are present in their lives. While genetic behavior would be different sure but they would still be closely related enough to still get along. Unless this refers to everyone dying or no babies are born so there are so many people left.


schpanckie

He will always have “Wilson”.


d2dtk

The plot of "last man standing"... Then alive people started showing up


NariGenghis

Yeah, 2 or more people can't die simultaneously, that's just impossible and unheard of.


The_Gristle

Please let it be me


Cheap-Owl-5338

it's gonna be me


The_Gristle

Gaddamn I hope NSYNC makes it to the end


PM_meyourGradyWhite

I’m going to guess there will be thousands spread around the earth, too far apart to cross paths with another, each believing they’re the last surviving human.


[deleted]

He wouldn’t know he was the last human, and would likely drive himself mad trying to find others. We are creatures that require connection.