I was told I would never find common ground with the rest of the world.

I was told I would never find common ground with the rest of the world.


>Did anyone else get it drilled into them that public school destroyed bright minds and turned kids into sheep? yes. My mom's whole thing was, "public school only teaches kids to line up and obey orders. it doesn't teach critical [meaning critical of the things she disagreed with] thinking" she'd say that public school indoctrinated kids, and that i should be grateful i wasn't being indoctrinated (with such terrible things as evolution, actual real history, actual real science, etc.). Meanwhile, she was teaching me purity culture and xtian fundamentalism lmao. it was a real shock when i got to college and realized i was solidly average, and all those public schoolers I'd been privately feeling superior to were actually way better adjusted and actually had study habits and stuff. Wild how having actual teachers makes it easier to learn the things you can't teach yourself!


yeah i dont get the indoctrination narrative they push... i got to go back this year and the literal math class encourages thinking more than they did


well see, when tHe EneMY does it, it's indoctrination. when the parent does it, the parent is just teaching "good xtian values". ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯




I think the past 6-8 years has seen a rise in that redscare mentality. Especially with COVID and school closures there are a lot more people being homeschooled.


**[John A. Stormer](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_A._Stormer)** >John Anthony Stormer (February 9, 1928 – July 10, 2018) was an American Protestant anti-communist author, best known for his 1964 book None Dare Call It Treason. Both a pastor and a Christian school superintendent, his books have sold millions, warning America about the communist infiltration of American society, politics and culture. He has been called by the conservative political commentator, Daniel Pipes, "the man who may be the most popular U.S. backstairs author of all time". Richard Hofstadter in The Paranoid Style in American Politics called it a "masterful piece of folkish propaganda". ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/HomeschoolRecovery/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


My mom’s rhetoric on the public school subject was a combination of “public school kids are all mean and will bully you and I’m saving you from that” and “every single student and teacher is going to try to destroy your Christian faith and shove lies down your throat, and you’re going to face an unfathomable amount of peer pressure to do drugs, drink, and have sex and I’m saving you from that.” That, and she thought that students don’t get to express themselves and get an individualized-enough education in public school and that too many kids get overlooked/slip through the cracks. It was all on that same theme of my parents saving us from the horrors of public school. It led to me having an unhealthy bias against public school kids, and a false sense of superiority over them, for a long time. I’m not proud of it, and I’m glad to have escaped it.


Since religion was not the primary motivation for homeschooling for my "mom" (although she is a very, very judgmental, closed-minded Christian), the "you'll be surrounded by worldly sinners who will destroy your faith" part of it wasn't pushed so heavily on me, but she basically brainwashed/Stockholm Syndrome-d me into believing that I needed to be homeschooled because I would be abused and tormented mercilessly if I were exposed to children my own age at school, to the point that I was constantly an anxious wreck and terrified of/hostile toward peers by the time I went back to public school. (And, of course, she had the audacity to mock/criticize me for being socially stunted and unable to relate properly to my peers when she put me back in public school--because none of that could possibly have been caused by her choices.) I also developed the unhealthy bias/false sense of superiority you described, which contributed to it, and it just saddens me looking back on it because I missed out on so many normal early adolescent experiences that I should have been able to enjoy.


Ugh that sounds awful, I’m sorry! I didn’t end up with a hostility towards public school kids, as much as I was almost afraid/apprehensive of them, unless they went to the same church as me (which was my primary social outlet). And I always felt like an outsider even among those church friends because they all went to the same school together too.


Thanks, it's only been in relatively recent years going through intensive therapy that I've realized just how much long-lasting damage into my adult life was inflicted by my "mother's" homeschooling, and it's still painful to talk about. I've found this subreddit immensely relatable, and decided to start participating after lurking for a while. I can't relate to the experience of having church as the sole social outlet (there wasn't really a tightly-knit community in my childhood church, and I was never able to make any connections with any children my own age I met there), but my "mother" was definitely the type of parent who thought that enrolling me in summer camps and some extracurricular activities would be sufficient for "socialization," but never realized or cared that I always failed to form lasting relationships from those activities because the peers I met already had their own close-knit circles of friends at school. (It really, really is impossible to form lasting friendships with people from making small talk with them maybe once a week. In complete seriousness, I never really learned properly how to form strong friendships on my own until my late 20s.)


I feel you on all that. I ended up having no interest in being successful, or even knowing how to, because I lacked friends and a connection to my peers. I'm late 30's, and have a house and a decent enough job. Never made relationships work, and don't have a great network of friends. I'm sober 6yrs now though, and that's good for me. You seem to have done better than many. There really are so many people out there that you can find connections if you look for them.


Six years sober is an accomplishment you should be proud of! I know that I was one of the lucky ones. My Facebook friends list is full of those that weren't.


My mom did the whole "you're too smart for public school" thing but apparently I wasn't too smart to have no curriculum for years and just raise her babies and clean house.


This is the million dollar question! Are we aliens that can only integrate to survive and not actually to be part of humanity, or are we pretty much regular people going about our lives in an ordinary fashion? Our parents made exceptional choices (about homeschooling—which was about 3% of parents nationally when I was a kiddo) so of course in some ways our experiences are pretty rare and difficult to relate to by the broader population, as their experiences are difficult for us to connect with. I was reading about the Bitcoin loving freedom types in some sort of a utopia in which people who had libertarian ideas migrated to New Hampshire to try to swing the state politically in a wild direction. Someone who left the group said they were tired of being in the middle of a bunch of recalcitrant autistic people fighting with one another. I’m not sure if I can connect to the rest of the world, but that I could certainly connect to! I think that being homeschooled has not made it harder for me to connect to the human condition or the human experience. But it may have made me happier alone than with people. Which has been a source of conflict in my life, as money is made in the marketplace, in exchange with others, and human relationships can cause pain and be frightening and overwhelming.