T O P

  • By -

LaLaLaneybaby

My brother 😂 I'm screwed


ajbdbds

Hey I've seen this one before


JeansMuraSaren

Pornhub intro starts


BlankMyName

But is it the first time?


smol_boi-_-

Will it be their last?


snorlax420__

Hope he screws you well


ImperialCub

This man doesnt objectify women he objectifies MEN. SEXISM IS DEFEATED


13andahalfreasonswhy

Just another dick in the wall


IIM_HUNTER56

Uhhh sometimes being an American and having guns everywhere is not that great after all


MythiqueDash

"I'm a boutta pull out the trigger"


SpykeZero

A bath towel.....I can make that work


BolemicDog

I guess technically my sister counts as a person so that might not be the right answer to this question


AhtosGaming07

For christs sake. It's your sister man. Of course she counts


thelonelyone215

In Islam.. yes it is /s


MohammadMahbubRahman

If you treat women like objects put yo hands up!


Fluffy_Memory_6238

Enough talking about women's rights Can we talk about the wrongs now?


JunesTastyTushy

It's a vibrator so I'm very screwed, in a good way 😄


snorlax420__

Be ready for shock waves


Wicoin

Welp, left hand. First time for everything I guess....


Fluffy_Memory_6238

first time? or is it? 😏


iesparr0w

A chainsaw, damn!! I'm DED


Galloping_Scallop

Electrical power board outlet - going to be electrifying...


AhtosGaming07

It's my sink, And it has garbage disposal


Fluffy_Memory_6238

Gonna be a nasty one


DerpAtOffice

Never tried with my left hand, but I will make it work.


fireanswer

My girlfriend's best friend. I'm probably already screwed


BlankMyName

Only if you are lucky.


snorlax420__

Then you both start dating and ditch your girlfriend


Sims481

A chair, wont be the first time.


Fluffy_Memory_6238

Hol up whaaa!


The_Captain_Cook

I'm not sure how a wall is going to work.


MichaelRM

Laptop. I’ve mostly been using my phone the last few years but eh alright im browsing incognito already


StonleyLoner319

There is nothing to my left... I can't even get it in a hypothetical scenario... honestly man I give up.


aseedandco

I’m okay, but the stranger here next to me on the train may well be displeased.


I-drink-apple-juice

Actually a blender


clarkkentisnotsupes

nothing on my left, sounds about right, aint screwing anything anytime soon


lewhugh

Penknife. Fml.


dragon_vindaloo

Laptop. I mean, at least MLP is already playing.


Tipper92

My laptop? Technically it's already the only thing I'm having sex with.


sudorootadmin

My wife is going to hate this...


ravs1973

I'm refusing to class my dog as an object so I'm going for a red hot cup of tea instead. Yes I would rather scald the skin off my cock than roger the dog.


catsinbananahats

A true gentleman


furiousgeorge54

Blankets, great to dry hump


oooO00OoO00Oooo

Does my wife count as an object? I know she really is not an object but the an earplug can't do the trick...


btj283

A standing ashtray…well it has a hole so why not.prob don’t fit though


waitingformydeathday

I’m ok with that because it’s my bedfellow.


RedditRum122333

A bong so shouldn’t be too bad


randolotapus

First of all, don't call my wife an object, second of all she's on the phone to her parents right now


hippywitch

….a bag of salad croutons…the chaffing.


arianleellewellyn

Guess the alarm clocks gonna get it then 🤣


Fluffy_Memory_6238

Poor clock i hope it tickles


arianleellewellyn

Didn't even buy me dinner (well breakfast)🤣


snorlax420__

and ruined your sleep too


MrTizio13

Public train seat here i cum!!!


Fluffy_Memory_6238

Well the damage is prolly not new for that poor seat


PM_YOUR_DIRTY_HAIKU

My bed? Never gone in raw, but I'm game


MohammadMahbubRahman

My blanket. Sounds like a win


Fluffy_Memory_6238

My math HW 👀 >!That's a tough nut!<


SnooCapers9313

Be careful you don't get a compound fraction but tell its who's boss be the denominator


BolemicDog

I must have mistaken what the OP meant by how screwed are you


Sarke1

My dog. The wife is going to get upset...


snorlax420__

Art of zoo


Sfswine

My cat .. my dick will know the ‘murder claws’


catsinbananahats

They are called murder mittens


WAHI1547

Aww


MunsoonX3

Huh https://imgur.com/a/hmj9P6L I guess i'll manage...


WAHI1547

Some raw chicken. I can make something happen.


AnotherJasonOnReddit

Oh No! One of those Old-Time Gentlemen's Hats, like the ones Laurel and Hardy used to wear.


Select_Ad3588

a banana a classic


Emperor_Cartagia

My closet door...? I'm not sure I'm capable... The splinters you see...


ImperialCub

Coffee cup


whomst_calls_so_loud

How do you fuck a blanket?


eddmario

So, either I'm fucking a pillow or a fan...


kalaxi69

a dog toy that has batterues inside it B A T T E R Y C U M


SnooCapers9313

One of my dogs...


inadream123

Can of Monster energy… ouch…


Mr_Otterswamp

Jokes on you, it’s a screwdriver


DiagnosticsScareMe

No, I’m not going Steve-O with these hot wheels on my wall.


clairebear012

Guess im riding my pillow


thanodogo

cabinet


LegalInsect7234

Pineapple lol


usuallydead404

I don't think the air conditioner is attracted to me in the same way.


Cheeseburgermeal

iPad mini. Appropriately sized


ste__a

Oh no, my poor camera


Piltdownton_Abbey

A bag of chili cheese nachos. It would be worse.