What wedding moment made you think: “They are not going to last long”?
By - Olya_roo
As a wedding photographer I have been to more than my share of weddings.
1. It was a REAL shotgun wedding. Dad didn't realize it would not stand up in court. Only time the groom was more excited to have photos than the bride.
2. She wanted a limo, he thought a hearse would be better and kept doing Lurch impressions. From the Adams family.
3. Her friends took turns motorboating her (females), and he said, get it out of your system as after tonight you never get to do that again. Was a good sign also when she dove into the pool with her bridesmaids at the reception...in her wedding dress.
4. Don't know what happened... Sat down with bride and groom, filling out the contract. Got the deposit. He stood up, said forget it, and walked out. 2 months later I get told the wedding is off, 3 months later she calls to rebook, different groom. Day of the wedding I am at the church... Got the final payment the week before... No one shows... No one, just me and the DJ.
That last one had me burst out laughing! Sorry though, what a pain in the ass
That was BEYOND worth the read.
Not the couple getting married but the Best Man and Maid of Honor who were married to each other. Best Man's speech was all about how hard it was to be married. "I've been married for a year and it feels like 100 years." Maid of Honor stands up to give a speech and just says "Ditto." It was so awkward and really brought the whole room down. Brother of the bride stood up and gave a nice impromptu speech about teamwork and having a partner to go through life with. How happy the family was to have the groom join their family. Best Man and Maid of Honor were divorced within a year. Couple who got married are still married 30+ years later. I sometimes wonder if the speeches actually were helpful in how not to act as a couple.
For me the complex backstory. Bride's brother is gay and has been in a longterm relationship for 40+ years. At the time he gave his speech about marriage he couldn't marry the man he loved and I think his passioned defense of marriage was born from that. When people would say they were against gay marriage because it makes a mockery of marriage I'd think of that night. The married couple who had no respect for marriage could easily marry (and did over and over again) and the man who stood up and defended marriage could not. He's married now and lovingly takes care of his husband as he battles health issues.
When they were doing the vows and the priest got to the "for richer or poorer" part and she said "for richer or richer and maybe for poorer." The officiant was not pleased. I think they made it a year.
She told me two days before that she found her fiancé annoying and that she didn’t like him and that he was AWFUL in bed.
She was visibly, endlessly uncomfortable at the rehearsal wedding/dinner combo.
Then she sobbed the ENTIRE morning, day-of. She ended up not getting any makeup done cause she wouldn’t stop scream-sobbing and refused to get dressed, stalling the wedding ~35 minutes.
She then said 45 minutes of “vows” that she had prepared (9 pages of things like inappropriate vows to friends and family, his parents and sisters, none of them her husband), and then ALMOST didn’t say “I do”. Managed to get a, “uh, yeah, okay, yeah I do” out of her almost a full 60 seconds after she was supposed to say anything.
I could go on for HOURS, but it was the most painful and awkward wedding I’ve ever been to. I’ve got my money on 10 months. We’re 1 month in.
EDIT - 2.5 month update — I’ve distanced myself from them completely. She is really clingy and likes to gossip about how awful her husband is and I really don’t have the time. She’s also told me they’re in couples therapy after I expressed negativity towards some extremely concerning things she said regarding their relationship + lack of communication. But, I’m still betting on 10 months because she believes it’s all his fault and truly believes his parents and sisters are exactly the same (news flash, they’re all lovely people).
Source: My Wedding.
We'll start three days before. The wedding was a ren-fair style wedding outside at a large gazebo and the Maid of honor had promised to purchase a stylized dress for my bride that they had agreed on. THREE DAYS before the wedding she calls to tell us she had no money and was embarrased to admit it....so we literally hand-sewed ont together in 24 hours. IMO it turned out pretty nice for what we had...
Brides mother was supposed to pick up the cake in ATX and drive an hour south for the wedding. She left her house 30 minutes before the wedding to pick it up. When she finally showed up (hour late) the cake was DESTROYED....she put it in the back seat and drove like hell all the way down, just slamming it against box with every turn.
During the one hour delay, there was almost a fist fight between two groomsmen because....well the MoH showed up, IN THE DRESS THAT SHE WAS 'UNABLE TO AFFORD'. Obvious attempt to upstage the bride. The same MoH during her speech after the ceremony started it of by saying 'When we all met, I did not like Drakkarim411 at all, however I found that he grows on you...like a fungus.'
Needless to say my entire side of the family was super cold to all of this.
Since all of these issues were on her side of friendships or families, I was told to suck it up and we'll discuss later. I sort of assumed that a lot of these 'friends' had just shown themselves the door. Quite the opposite. In fact, two years later when I accepted my first well paying job out of college, it became an issue that it was an hour and a half out of Austin...so she decided to just stay in ATX to be with her friends.
...I mailed her the divorce papers and since she couldn't be bothered to even show up to the hearing....I've never seen her again.
I've got two:
One of my good friends got married and I'd never met her before the wedding because "she's just shy." On the wedding day, she was belligerently drunk before the ceremony even started and couldn't even get through the lines she was supposed to repeat (i.e. "I promise to love you"). She ended up slapping the groom, spilling champagne on her dress, and then crying under a table while he tried to comfort her. They lasted about 4 months.
Another one was my wife's friend. She's a very conservative, religious white girl who married a black man. Most of her racist family didn't approve of the marriage and didn't show up. But she planned the whole marriage around race. Like a vanilla cake for her and a chocolate cake for him, the wedding colors were black and white, and even the meals were white meat for her side and dark meat for his. It was extremely uncomfortable as a guest. They lasted 2 years (but broke up because he was abusive and almost killed her, rather than the weird racial tension).
The second one reminds me of the guy who does the "my korean wife" comics. If you think of your wife that way...
Not at the wedding itself, but I used to work at a David's Bridal. Bride came in with tons of friends, we did the Say Yes To The Dress Thing, and an hour later she'd standing there in $3,000 worth of stuff and doesn't have any money with her or in her account. She decides she wants to apply for the store credit card, I run it through the system, and she gets denied. She then calls the groom for his info (which, to be fair, people did all the time), and he tells her no. She threw a HUGE fit on the phone with him, standing on the bridal stage, literally demanding "WHY NOT? WHY?! WHY!!" like an actual child over and over again. I've never seen a 30 year old age backwards so quickly. She was just a brat. Literally stomping her feet in front of me, all her friends, and the other bride in the store. \*I\* was embarassed. At the end of all of that, she hangs up on him and her friend is like "I'm so sorry you can't get your dress" and the bride stops crying instantly and just goes "Oh I'll get the dress. I just have to do this at home and when he gets mad enough he'll come get it for me so I'll stop."
Speechless. Sure enough. Girl came back two days later with her man and he applied for the credit card and bought the dress. He was livid and silent, and she was smug as hell. Can't imagine they're having a happy marriage if they are still together.
The groom showed up to his own reception wearing a t-shirt with restroom-sign style stick figures depicting a bride and groom captioned "Game Over."
I’M WITNESSING ONE FROM THE SIDELINES NOW!!!
My wife’s brother just got married this past May. Bride’s mother is a big DIY person and went a little nuts with extra flowers, table pieces, decorations, etc… Note I said extra, it was already decorated by the venue, she just took it upon herself to buy and add way more stuff.
Anyway, a few weeks ago she sends my MIL (grooms mom) and email with receipts of all the extra stuff she bought ($7,000 worth!!! ) and asked that she pay half since it was technically set up in time for the rehearsal dinner for guests to enjoy. It’s causing a huge rift between the newlyweds since the bride is taking her moms side.
Gosh - help, when unasked for, can be the absolute worst!
My wife got invited to a client's daughter's wedding. The couple were both drama students. Many of the bridal party were drama students. The maid-of-honour's toast consisted of tearful declarations of unrequited love to the groom, along the lines of 'if it couldn't be me, I'm glad it's my best friend that's marrying you'. The best-man's speech was a lusty declaration of 'if it doesn't work out, call me, babe... like the previous time you called me.' Other toasts were similarly weird. A guy at the table I was seated at was a friend of the bride and said to me that he was 'this close' to standing up during the 'speak now or forever hold your peace' thing. I'm still not sure if the whole thing was a bunch of emotionally fucked-up 20-year-olds, or one big piece of performance art.
I did my undergraduate degree in Literature and there was a lot of overlap with the Drama students. None of this surprises me in the least. They were always bragging about how 'incestuous'\* they were.
\*By which they meant they all slept with each other.
Drama school's graduate program in my university had only 13 students and they had all slept with each other within first 6 months of their 2 year course, and then it was 1 and half years of pure drama inside as well as outside of their classroom. It was one of our best entertainments.
A fun light-hearted dance with the groom followed by a *close* and slow dance with her male best friend.
How long did that marriage last?
18 months and now she's living with the "friend".
Hahaha. What perfect foreshadowing at the perfect time (first dance).
When my sister married her first husband she mouthed to my father walking her down the aisle "I can make this work, right?"... They were divorced 6 months later.... my whole family knew it wasn't a good idea since the original engagement a year prior...
He ended up at the emergency room between the ceremony and the reception. He went out out the night night before with his sister and friends and got plastered. They had to hold a cold pak to the back of his neck to keep him vertical during the wedding photos. Marriage lasted 30 days until they had a fight, she left the house and he filled the U-Haul truck with everything but her clothes.
I was maid of honour. Me, best man and the couple went into a separate little room to do the signing stuff. Bride excused herself to go the bathroom and the groom started making pretty mean remarks about her cooking (sth she's passionate about) to the officiary. She came back, heard they were talking about cooking family meals together and gave him the warmest smile, thinking he had praised her. He scoffed awkwardly and changed the topic. That always stuck with me. He wasn't laughing WITH her but AT her, behind her back.
They lasted 7 months.
This one is so heartbreaking hope your friend is doing better now.
It genuinely made me tear up. I pictured a loving, happy wife returning to hear her new husband talking about what she’s passionate about. Then he laughs at her. That makes me sick, poor thing. What an absolute asshole of a husband. I’ve been with my wife for 10 years and, though we have our arguments, I could never gossip or shit talk about her behind her back, that’s not why I wanted her in my life.
I'm reminded of someone I read about maybe 20 years ago, a college professor who developed a protocol for predicting whether prospective marriages were likely to last. IIRC he had the engaged couple discuss some tender issues, topics they would fight about. They would videotape the session, then research assistants would watch the tape, counting the various interactions of note. That data produced their prediction.
His research showed that fighting was *not* a problem as such; lots of happy long-laying marriages had lots of fighting.
***The crucial aspect was whether the couple was mutually RESPECTFUL during their fight. Observed disrespect was a very strong predictor of a short-lived marriage.***
I have kept that in mind when dating. If I feel like she seems to be *contemptuous* of me at any point, that's a massive red flag. I ended a relationship when I realized I was treating *her* disrespectfully. *Be nicer* I would tell myself. After a while I realized that I simply did NOT respect her -- and that was a big problem.
In the 1995 BBC "Pride and Prejudice" the Dad says something like "I couldn't abide you having a marriage, Lizzy, where you cannot respect your spouse (like my marriage)."
There are two ex-Mrs. Lebrowskis. They both broke my heart. I'm permanently sad that I couldn't make either marriage last. I take some joy, though, from the fact that I deeply respected both of them when we got married and still do now, 37 and 15 years later.
The bride had a bruised eye covered by make-up. Also it was visible that walking was hurting her. I might think it was because the corset was pushing on broken ribs.
Took her 3 years to run away.
He got so fucked up at the reception he had a fist fight with her cousin in the toilets over coke. He told all the other cousins to fuck off. He hit on my aunt. He told my cousins child to come back to him when she was 15/16. And he forgot to bring his child to the hotel.
When the bride drank vodka out of a pint glass and spent a significant amount of time making out with another guy on the dance floor.
The poor groom! This makes me sad. What a soul crushing thing to observe at YOUR own wedding. Yikes
Turns out she'd been carrying on an affair with another guy (not the dancefloor makeout guy) for quite some time.
It all worked out in the end, she married the affair guy and the groom went on to find someone who wasn't shit.
Oh, well the first part isn't necessarily a deal breaker. One of the best weddings I've ever been to included an "Olympics" between the bride and her bridesmaids (Russian) and the groom and his groomsmen (Lebanese). Main event was a vodka relay where they, no shit, chugged pint glasses. Lebanese put in a fantastic showing, but the Russians mopped the floor with them without even taking their heels off. It was hilarious, they all still managed to host and throw a wonderful party for another few hours, and they've been happily married for over a decade with three beautiful kids.
edit: Oh, and my husband just reminded me that these motherfuckers woke up the next morning and hosted *brunch* for us. Unbelievable.
When the bride tried to playfully feed the groom some cake, pulling it back once it got close to his mouth. The third time she did this, he slapped it out of her hand and stormed off.
In the ensuing awkward silence and wide-eyed staring, we all knew it wouldn't last.
Surprisingly, they were together for nearly two years before the bride eloped away with her step-brother. No one saw that coming.
Thats a weird pornhub plot
My uncle when he broke his neck trying to breakdance on his stag do,
He went down the aisle in a wheelchair. She divorced shortly after.
He can walk again now but because of his surgery he cannot turn his neck.
One of my go to stories because its fucking insane.
Prior to my wedding I’d asked my husband to practice dancing with me because I’m uncoordinated, due to a disability. He blew me off and said we’d be fine. As we were dancing, he spoke in my ear, not even quietly. “What are you doing? What’s wrong with you? You’re embarrassing me!!” We lasted 2 years. Leaving was the best decision I ever made.
Wow. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Happy to hear you're doing better without that piece of shit now.
Yeah, I mean, he shouldn't really even *need* a reason to dance with you. Hell, he should *want* to.
Wedding videographer here, I think my favorite moment was when I was sitting at the miscellaneous table with all the randoms and the girl next to me, the grooms ex, drunkenly admitted to sleeping with the groom a few months prior
I was at a wedding. I was a plus one for my date. The bride sat down drunk at our table and started talking to us. She then told me that she slept with her ex right before walking down the aisle. She fucked her ex in her wedding dress in the bridal suite. She then downed the last of my drink and went off to the dance floor. I was left speechless. I didn't know anyone but my date. Less than a year later the bride and groom were divoreced.
Makes you wonder if the cheating was the reason for the divorce, or a symptom of whatever root cause was for both.
The morning after the wedding at campfire coffee the new bride turned to the groom asked, "Are you going to wear your ring everyday because it kinda makes you look like a fa**ot?"
Those of us there side glanced and took deep sips of coffee.. I think it lasted 4-6 months.
What the fuck???
I was at a wedding when a phone went off during the ceremony.
In the middle of exchanging vows.
It was the grooms.
He took the call.
They are divorced now.
Edit to add: I believe it was a cousin calling, to ask if they were late for the wedding.
Unless he's a premiere surgeon or other some sort of indispensable doctor, why the fuck did he even have his phone on him? I didn't have mine
This is so absurd it's comical
The groom showed up drunk after golfing with buddies all day. The bride in her vows said "For Richer"... left out the "poorer"
One of my friends got married, afterwards she looked at me, crying, and said " what did I do? ". They were separated by the time the plane landed from their honeymoon. He was a good guy, she was a mess.
The beta fish in the flower centerpieces lasted longer than the marriage.
Hmmm where to start? The best man was the groom's coke dealer who dressed in a tux - the only one in a tux. The groom was high on coke and giggled throughout the whole ceremony. The host of the party alternated between arguing with his wife in Russian and running up to us every time he saw us (the bride's friends - the only people that showed up from 'her side' for the wedding) whenever he saw us in groups of 2 or more and tell us 'Don't smoke weed, if she (his wife) won't let me smoke weed in the house then you guys can't." Every. Time. We. Grouped. Up.
You know you've fucked up when your plug is the classiest person at your wedding
Sounds like an interesting party but a terrible wedding.
When they got married illegally in high school. Two 16 year olds from different states who had to lie on their certificate to get approved by the state. It was annulled when the father of the groom found out.
I actually know a happy version of this. My hs English teacher's friend and her boyfriend took a bus to the next state over where you could get married at 16 and so they eloped in secret and came out about it after they graduated and have been married for over 40 years and counting.
My grandmother got married at 16 to my grandfather who was 19.
WWII hit and he was leaving to fight. In her own words “I wanted to be his wife, even just for a little, and he didn’t want to die before we were a family.”
He survived, came home, and they were happily married until death did them part.
(Even crazier, they both immigrated to the US as children; him from Austria, her from Poland. Had they not grown up here, they would have been on opposite sides of the war.)
I worked at a museum that also doubled as a wedding venue in the summers. As part of the wedding package, the museum would stay open after hours for the guests only so I’d just sit there and greet people basically.
One wedding got particularly rowdy. Almost everyone was drunk, people were jumping into the fountain, someone vomited in said fountain. At one point, the bride is crying. Turns out the groom and one of his groomsmen were screwing upstairs in one of the bathrooms. A fight ensued between the groom and the father of the bride and cops were called because it really got ugly. Entertaining for me but I felt so bad for the bride.
My brother’s ex-wife. Throughout the exchange of vows, she was looking at everyone but my brother, making sure all eyes were on her. Later, she instructed the photographer (a family friend who was cheap) to “mingle” and get shots of people “being happy”. Within 10 minutes, she’d summoned the photographer back shouting, “Whose wedding is this?! I meant get shots of people being happy ***for me***.”
Edit: thought I’d add – they broke up when she cheated on him. Apparently, that marriage she was desperate for was only good while it brought her attention.
The bachelor party and the Bachelorette party were in Vegas at the same time. Across the hall from each other. The bride and groom got in a huge fight on the last night of the trip and when I was leaving I said "I'll see you guys at the wedding" to the groom and he replied "I'm not sure there's gonna be one."
There was a wedding, but they were divorced within 18 months I believe.
One of my friends was the best man at another friend of ours wedding. His best man speech included this line” I prepared some lines for tonight, but the groom sniffed them all in the bathroom”. 3 months later there was a divorce due to a coke problem
Was his coke use... known already? Or was that a surprise for the bride?
That shit was known for a long time. Maybe kept away from her parents and all the elders that were at the weeding. But she knew. We knew. She thought he could get it under control until one day she called me said she kicked him out. He was I think 23 at the time, they just bought a house. Marriage lasted I think 93 days or some shit
When the groom ran up and punched the bride during the reception in some kind of drunken melee.
Well here it goes….
My cousin got married probably a decade ago and during the wedding it came out that groom was not the best to my cousin while dating. The brides brother did not take this well and during the after party a shouting match became a brawl between the two families. Next thing you know the police show up and literally pepper spray everyone. Including my grandma, kids and anyone near the area. I don’t remember if anyone got arrested but the story got on CBS the early show for the international news. Lol they did not last long to say the least.
At my boyfriend's sisters wedding the groom got drunk before the vows and smoked weed after the vows. Was crossfaded as hell and made a fool of himself. When we went up to congratulate them after, she refused to be near him or take pictures with him. It was awkward.
After the speeches basically everyone left. Family was still around and they opened gifts. Someone gifted nice champagne and the groom tried to open it and dropped it and it shattered. Bride stormed off screaming. Groom got upset and started cussing out the air.
They still went to their honeymoon together in Florida and she got pregnant almost immediately. Maybe 7 months into her pregnancy she kicked him out because he slept with her roommate. They got divorced when their kid was 6 months old.
But it's for the best, the dude is a pos and wasted a lot of their money by being selfish on their day
Two friends of mine got married, and when they gave their vows, the guy started laughing at the part about being faithful. Oops.
I once watched a livestream of the wrong Vegas wedding (the link I was given for a friend's wedding was incorrect) and during the exchange of vows, the groom got to the part about being faithful, and the bride *visibly and audibly chuckled*.
It was hilarious to watch, but I bet they didn't last long.
Love that you sat and watched their wedding.
"A wedding's a wedding. This will do"
"wow you guys looked fantastic at the wedding"
The best man's speech was about how selfishly the groom had acted during a night out and telling him to treat marriage differently.
My mum forgot to take off her ex husbands wedding ring
When the groom went in for the kiss after their vows and the bride presented her cheek instead. They divorced less than a year later after it was discovered she had been cheating on him pretty much their entire relationship. I hope you're doing better Isaac.
The groom and best man had a dancing routine for getting into the church ceremony and they got nearly halfway through it and I guess the groom felt they hadn't received much applause and wows from us the attendees and decided to go back to the entrance and start all over. Sigh...
Why is no one having a good time, I specifically requested it.
That's pretty cringeworthy. "Hmm, people don't seem to be enjoying this.... I'd better stop, and start again from the beginning!"
I just remember the side eyes we were all giving each other also I should add the person in charge of the music was the last to figure it out so you can imagine the weird pause after the 2 men walked back to the church entrance with the music still going on and someone trying to tell the people at the front to start the song again. Absolute cringe.
The entire bridal party, including parents of the wedded couple, entering in to a betting pool of how long the marriage would last, at the wedding reception.
IIRC the best man won (price is right rules) at 14 months
Surely you confide in your friends OR even your parents about the whole thing, but who am I to say
They were together since junior high, and would break up and "reconcile" every 3-6 months. Everyone was just sick of it, friends and family, and the marriage (at age 19 in the summer between freshman/sophomore year at college) was obviously an attempt to force the relationship to stick.
It did not. But at least no kids were involved.
I should say the bride/groom did not participate, everyone else did. That would have been...glorious
Imagine the whole time the best friend was like "listen, you gotta hold out a little longer. I made a huge bet on this and I'm about to take home the cake. We go 50/50."
That's like... Insider trading
Groom got into a fist fight with the father of the bride. Split after 4 months.
Context- Groom and brides dad (actually most people in these families if I'm honest) have pretty aggressive drinking problems. Father in law has always hated him. I wasn't around for what actually set it off but it ended when the bride got in the middle, got an elbow in the eye and the happy couple left for the night. This was in rural Canada. Not Letterkenny, but basically Letterkenny. I'd say the father in law won the fight though.
Portuguese wedding. Fist fight broke out at the head table during the reception. Between two groomsmen. They were arguing about which of them had slept with the bride first. Groom was oblivious.
He came home from work early one day two years later and caught her in bed with another man. Surprised it took that long.
Midnight buffet was amazing though.
The groom had a “best woman” instead of a best man. Nothing wrong with that, but her toast left the whole room in awkward silence because she was clearly in love with him.
What did she say??
I wish I could remember the specifics, but it was all about how they were always together, all the late nights they spent together, etc. she was so tearful during it too. I’m not making it sound as bad as it was, but I assure you.. it was bad.
The bride and groom did the first dance then spent the rest of their reception completely apart from each other getting shit-faced with their own separate friend-groups. The only other dancing all night was the bride dancing with her high school friends, the father-daughter dance and the mother-son dance, during which the groom was crying. The best man's speech didn't mention the bride at all and basically boiled down to "Groom, you're married now but our bond is older and stronger, all of our hunting and fishing trips together are the best thing in our lives, can't wait for more." Such a sad, desperate atmosphere. They made it a little over one year.
I used to be a wedding singer and I played a wedding like that once. We had a hard time figuring out who the groom was because he was never anywhere near the bride. The first dance was delayed because the wedding planner had such a hard time getting the two of them in the same place at the same time. Afterwards they both stayed on opposite ends of the ballroom. In the 6 hours of the reception I don't think they ever spoke to one another.
I was invited to a high school friend’s wedding. The night before the wedding she asked me to join her future husband’s bachelor party. He had no friends and it was only he, his brother, his father, and I. They were not thrilled with my presence. They wanted to go to a strip club, but thought I would rat them out. We to a bar, but I could tell I was the turd in the punch bowl, so I went back to the hotel and they went to a strip club.
My friend called me after I got back to the hotel. She asked me why I didn’t go to the strip club and I told her that it wasn’t my thing. She asked if we could hang out and catch up. I said “sure” and she came to my room only wearing a robe. It was obvious there was nothing on under it. We watched a movie and she fell asleep. At some point in the night she left.
The next morning at the wedding I was sitting next to a mutual friend. This friend was encouraging me to object and looked disappointed when I didn’t do it.
They lasted five years, but lived together less than two.
The most beautiful wedding I've been to ended in divorce. Venue was where the groom's father is buried and he cried as he made his vows to the bride there.
Turned out he'd been cheating on her for months and they divorced a while later. Something so repugnant about marrying someone you're cheating on practically over your father's grave. To date it's the only wedding I've been to that ended in divorce.
My best friends wedding is tomorrow and I told her about how I’ve heard several wedding photographers/videographers say that shoving cake in the face is almost a for sure factor that they’re going to divorce. She told me “oh yeah I told him not to but he probably will anyways” so we’ll see how this goes.
Update: she put the cake in his mouth respectfully but he booped her nose two or three times which wasn’t huge and they just laughed it off. I cried a couple times during this wedding because their love does seem very genuine so sorry if this wasn’t the update you were hoping for lol but I’ll give a one year update
I've heard some version of that cake smashing story so many times I feel like there needs to be a PSA about it. Marriages survive affairs more often than they survive an unwanted cake smashing.
TL;DR, don't smash without consent
My wife is an event planner with a particular talent for higher-end weddings. I'm talking about $150K and up for the reception (venue/catering/decor/music) alone. The best I've heard from her is the following:
>Bride and her mother were discussing terms of the pre-nuptial agreement ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING while doing hair & makeup. Something about a one year clause after which the terms eased and the bride could exit the marriage with a nice payout.
So I guess the marriage lasted at least a year?
sounds like the plot to a vince vaughn movie
When the groom started off his speech by saying, “we all know I didn’t want to get married but we’re here for ___bride___ and __child we had together___.”
1 year, 3 months later they were finished.
That is so sad
When he smashed the cake in her face and hair, then went off drinking with his buddies. In 12 weeks, she filed. Good thing I didn't buy an expensive gift.
He complained she was mean to him throughout their dating life. The day before the wedding all of the groomsmen and the grooms friends told him not to marry the girl. Like straight up.
They lasted less than a year.
Groom had surprise gifts scheduled to show up once an hour for the 8 hours prior to the wedding, with special meaning behind each one relating to relevant moments of their relationship.
Bride was bitchy because some of them weren't up to her standards.
They're currently in the "maybe if we have a baby, the immense increased stress will save our marriage" stage.
I'm a wedding photographer and I have a few of these.
When a very young, not dating long couple say things like the partner is "perfect" and "we never fight".
When there's name calling. I particularly cringed at "it's because we so get each other and are so comfortable that he can call me dumb slut as a nickname." They didn't last the year.
One where the wedding was all about the groom promoting his band. He even "sang his bride a song" that was literally just him showing off his vocal range with some classic piece. She stood up and joined him on stage half way through and he looked annoyed that he had to share the limelight. They lasted about 2 years (he was sleeping with the other vocalist in the band.)
>sang his bride a song
On the happier side, I was at a wedding where this happened in a really & touching way. The groom had *no* vocal range, but sang "I'll Be Your Bridge Over Troubled Waters" to her. The fact that his singing wasn't up to performance level highlighted his sincerity. It was really beautiful.
I lost touch with the people I knew them through, so don't know how things worked out long-term, though.
They got secretly married at the local Town Hall out of spite to the girl's father who did not agree with the relationship. This happened right out of high school and they divorced during my sophomore year at college.
Spite: the foundation of all great marriages.
I married my wife just to spite her.
I know a guy who got married right out of college in a similar fashion. He did it because his father didn't want him to someone who wasn't Jewish. He then cut all ties with the family and everyone. He finally showed back up a few years ago, he has a college degree, good career and 3 kids. Then again he was always one of the smartest people I know.
This was my sister's best friend and it was a bachelorette party moment. Bride had been having an affair, everyone knew it. The groom's friends tried to tell him, but she convinced him they were making it up. I mean, at that point it was just sad. She actually had the balls to force fiance to apologise to the guy she was sleeping with for the accusations. The night of the bachelorette party she actually took all her bridesmaids back to the other guys house and spent the night with him. He came to their wedding. It was SO AWKWARD. Everyone knew and everyone was talking. The groom was told, but chose to overlook it. After the wedding she insisted the other guy come on vacations with her and her husband and included him in all their social functions. Now, if they're non monogamous, whatever, go crazy! But her husband was an absolute wreck about it for years and she just kept gaslighting him. No one could convince him to leave her. She told my sister that affair guy insisted he would never marry her and didn't want kids so she was using fiance to get them. They ended up divorcing two years later after their second child was born. She immediately moved in with affair guy and they did end up getting married.
Edit: I wanted to add a little more context since this comment blew up a bit. Everyone involved in this story was really young, except affair guy. He had already been married and divorced and had a few kids of his own by then, but he was still well under 30. The original couple had been together since middle school and all this went down between the ages of 21-23. I think the husband was just really naive and invested in the relationship. Small town marry your high school sweetheart and live happily ever after bullshit. Affair guy did NOT go with them on their honeymoon, but he was included in group vacation plans before and after the wedding. Other people in the friend group did start refusing to go if he was involved. The bride had this really twisted power move that husband was not allowed to disrespect or offend affair guy. Any jealousy or suspicions were his own insecurities and anyone who said they were sleeping together just didn't understand platonic friendship. Affair guy was just a good friend, her best friend really, and husband needed to get over it. Bride and affair guy are still married and the second child is likely actually his. Groom married a girl they went to high school with and seems content.
How unbelievably cruel.
His third wedding. Same venue and same after ceremony driving away vehicle as the first two.
That is definitely a bad sign.
Okay, look, maybe he had one of those stamp-cards, and the tenth one will be free. We can't judge.
I’m imagining a sign out front that says:
Chad and ~~Sarah~~ Jenny
Chad and ~~Sarah~~ ~~Jenny~~ Rhonda
Showed up to the wedding of a friend of my husbands who I knew casually. When we arrived at the church the groom was very drunk in the parking lot - and getting drunker by the minute. I thought it was kinda nuts since it was a full Catholic ceremony which involved lots of kneeling and standing... I honestly have no idea how he made it thought that, but he did.
At the reception, he proceeded to continue the drinking party, while his new wife cried in the washroom. When it was time for the first dance he kind of stumbled around the dance floor despite a year of dance lessons. When it was time for him to take his new wife's garter off and throw it to the bachelors - he instead, did a strip tease type dance and got himself down to his underwear - in front of many elderly family members. People were shocked and talking and all in all it was a shit-show.
I gave this marriage a year or two tops. They, however, are still married 25+ years later.
> When it was time for him to take his new wife's garter off and throw it to the bachelors - he instead, did a strip tease type dance and got himself down to his underwear
I mean even getting blind drunk - the result here is so far away from the objective I just wonder what was going through his head lol.
Hah, it’s always the girl who gets undressed, but you know what?! ITS FINALLY MY TIME TO SHINE!
The "I will never say another word" is the perfect out. So many people go through with things or stay in bad situations (and I'm not talking about marriage exclusively) because they fear the shame of admitting to be wrong and then having it lorded over them or brought up every ten minutes. When my sister had her first boyfriend she refused to break up with him despite him being a bad guy because she knew my mom would never let her forget it. It took so long for her to break up with this shit bag, and unsurprisingly my mom won't let her forget it. Ever. Nor any subsequent relationship that hasn't worked out.
My grandmother has told every woman in our family that she'd support them backing out of a wedding. Not necessarily because she thinks the relationship won't last, in fact typically she's just saying it as a "hey just so you know, you *can* change your mind". She told me that no one supported her when she started having doubts about her first marriage right before the wedding, and she never wants anyone else to feel trapped.
But if me or any of my cousins were in a relationship where she felt strongly about it being a mistake, I could totally see her having the car at the curb.
I'm doing some age estimation, but could have been a strong move from grandma. Up until the 70s the "there are no take-backs on marriage" thing was *muuuch* more severe.
I was kindly included in a last-minute plus-one to the wedding of a family friend who I'd never met before. At the rehearsal dinner (or the German equivalent, the Polterabend) the guests smashed ceramic and porcelain items on the ground. I was fresh in Germany, so this was all pretty out of context and frightening, but my boyfriend explained that it's a tradition - reminding the couple that life is sometimes difficult and you have to work together to clean it up.
The bride kind of half-heartedly motioned to the groom to sweep it up. He did a little bit, then just moved on to talk to his friends, leaving most of the shards strewn around the yard. Additionally, I don't think I saw the couple talk to each other once over the next three days of celebrations.
It was a gorgeous wedding, and I'm so grateful that I was invited (really good way to begin living in a new country), but it wasn't surprising to hear that they'd divorced a few years later.
Oof how symbolic..
Yeah. I can't help but imagine that this is exactly why that tradition exists, and they just ..missed it? Entirely? Oof
My husband was the best man at a wedding. The bride was a nightmare. Not just during the wedding, but in general everyday life. All of the friends hated her, and she had no friends of her own.
We knew it was doomed when: during the portraits, the bride was making everyone miserable as can be. The groom said (exact words):
# "I'll just send her to therapy. And, if that doesn't work, we can just get divorced."
Edit: for emphasis
Therapist here. I'm never optimistic about this situation. People going to therapy for other people's satisfaction is like Court ordered rehab. It's rarely successful if your hearts not in it.
I went to a wedding held at my town's hunting lodge. Tons of stuffed animals on the walls and no AC in July. Bride was 7 months pregnant and smoking outside in between the wedding and the after party and the new husband was totally shit faced by the 2nd song which was "Rape Me" by Nirvana as requested by the bride's 16 year old daughter.
The whole thing was one giant trashy shit show haha. They divorced a year later.
The part of the vows where you pledge monogamy? The audience laughed
I’m sorry, they WHAT?
Damn, no one there took the marriage seriously. They probably were there to see the results of the bets they made.
The groom took the stupid cake thing to an extreme. The bride had given him his bite, and mushed a little on his chin or nose. He then took a piece and MASHED it into her face so hard that I was expecting her to end up with a bloody nose. Cake and frosting got up her nose, in her eyes, down the front of her dress, etc.
The bride had to go get cleaned up, had her makeup re-done, and was ugly-crying within an hour of saying, "I do." He didn't give a fuck.
Had a buddy (this was almost 30 years ago, btw.) who's girlfriend told him that if he mashed the cake in her face, it was O-V-E-R. She told him at least 10 times in my presence.
Day of the wedding, his "buddies" had gotten to him by making the whip noise and saying he had to show her Who Wore The Pants.
She fed him his piece, he mashed her face, she walked out and had the marriage annulled.
Aha, he’d rather be whipped by his “buddies”!
Good for her. If he can’t honor one simple request like that at the wedding, he’s not worth marrying.
Fuck, this is good. She absolutely was justified, and it sounds like his "buddies" are trash goblins.
The woman who made my wedding cake is a friend of the family and when she was doing the consult with us, she told us that one condition that she had was that we had to have a conversation about serving each other cake. We could do whatever we wanted - we could not do it, we could serve each other nicely, we could dab it on our noses, we could do a face-plant in the cake. It was our cake. But we had to agree on it together before-hand. We just cut the cake together but didn't serve it to each other.
Apparently she had seen more than one marriage that got off to a rocky start because the couple was not on the same page about cake and it was very important to her that her cake would not be a source of conflict in our marriage.
I like your cake making friend
Her son, who is my close friend, just sent me a picture of her refrigerator because she has a picture of our wedding cake prominently displayed on it. She's made hundreds of wedding cakes, so it really touched me that she saved the picture of that one for 20 years.
edit: Everybody is asking for the picture, so here it is:
It's sweet but also adorably funny that she doesn't have a photo of you, but a photo of the cake. I just imagine framed photos of cakes around the house and she's all "oh yeah, that's Bobby and Jimmy right there, and Todd and Sally - they were such a cute couple".
Honestly, it would not shock me if she thought of people in terms of their wedding cakes.
I should've posted my mom and stepfather's cake-smash story here, because this is pretty much what it was like, except for with my mom making like she was totally fine with it, because she couldn't admit marrying the guy was a huge mistake, and we all knew it.
I used to work at a pretty shitty privately owned exotic animal facility (think like Joe exotic but less Meth). People often booked kids birthday parties, etc. One time, we hosted a wedding reception. The theme was HOT FUCKING PINK so the clowns we normally hire were better dressed than them. The women looked like she wanted to cry the entire time. (Not happy tears lmao). I felt bad for her. I feel like the groom just wanted to book the cheapest venue with AC and they happened to like animals. If you like animals, you wouldn’t support where I worked.
Edited for typos smh
The groom left for 2 hours in the middle of the reception to run a live fantasy football draft.
They’re divorced now.
I live for these threads.
Anyway, I know a photographer who was offered to shoot a wedding on the Gold Coast, Australia. If you're from Australia then you know the Gold Coast while beautiful has a lot of jersey shore types living there, it's kind of like Miami but no celebrities and very very trashy. My friend is getting shots of every body getting dressed up at the same time because the groom, groomsmen, bride and bridesmaids are all getting ready in the same room. The groom decided to have his bucks party (bachelor, stag do) the night before so they're all hunger over as shit and snorting line after line of coke, something that is making my photographer friends job hard because she can't get any nice shots of the groom or groomsmen without these illicit drugs in view. The energy in the room is getting uncomfortable so the bride asks if they could take it easy on the coke and get a couple of nice photos. The groom yells "Shut up, cunt" and keeps snorting.
The girl who got my friend the gig said they divorced like 4 months later.
Another friend of mine was pressured into marrying his girlfriend of like 8 years because she dropped an ultimatum, propose to me within a year or we're done. He does so they get married but of every wedding photo she posted on facebook, neither one of them looked happy. They divorced barely a year into their marriage.
I wonder how many marriages prevail after "Shut up, cunt!".
I know some people don't like the idea of marriage, but I always wonder how long-time couples fall apart after getting married. For all intents and purposes if you're together for 8 years you're probably already living together and used to each other. Finances change, but a lot of places already treat you similarly for legal and childcare purposes if you cohabitate for a long time vs being married.
What changes? Is it just people panicking at the status change? Are these longterm couples actually together out of convenience, a lack of effort to find something new, and they start thinking on what they want more seriously?
When they disappeared for half an hour during the reception. They were both “saving themselves for marriage” and were desperate to bone down. Which is a fine thing to want. But it turns out that was more or less the main reason they got married. They made it almost a year.
My high school teacher told me a story of two people who waited for marriage too. In Utah, they have a massive porn “problem” and the husband definitely watched too much. He brought an outfit, a movie, toys, and I swear a whip for their wedding night. The wife burst into tears and locked herself in the bathroom for the entire night. My teacher’s lesson was to talk to your partner about everything including sex lol
There was a similar problem on an agony aunt page I read once when the wife wrote in for advice.
So apparently the bride and groom were both virgins and waited for marriage in accordance with their culture, with the groom clearly spending all that time on Pornhub getting wild expectations. The shy, religious bride expected that their wedding night would be a sacred coming together of souls but the groom did not read the memo. He slapped her around, tried to do anal and asked to piss on her *on their wedding night*.
The bride was, obviously, absolutely horrified and kept making excuses not to have sex with him again (he said he had a wonderful time and kept asking when they could have round 2). She wrote in to the agony aunt wondering what kind of deviant she had married. I felt very sorry for her.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, mysterious benefactor!
Jeez, poor thing.
When we had to pay $35 for the paperwork to be filed (court house wedding) and he spent the rest of the day complaining about the “waste of money.”
Why tf am i reading this the morning of my wedding
Edit for anyone interested:
It went great (other than me losing my ring during pictures)
Thank you all for the well wishes it means a lot to us both. Lots of love for everyone
Get the fuck out of here and go get ready!!!
Congratulations! Ok stop distracting yourself.
At my wedding she paused for a long second before saying yes, the woman marrying us was like "oh oh she's thinking about it", she laughed it off and said yes. We lasted 3 almost 4 years married.
The bride told her bridesmaids that she didn’t actually want to get married. Multiple times. No one told the groom until after the divorce.
Had a friend who did this. Kept telling me and other friends she wasn't sure she wanted to get married anymore and was having second thoughts. We all told her to call it off but she went through with it anyway. They split 6 months later.
I'm sure she got the "everyone has cold feet. It'll all be fine" talk despite there being a big difference between "Am I doing the right thing? This is big" and "I really don't want this. I feel like it's a mistake"
I worked at a nice restaurant in Nola. Bride is lovely she is excited and very receptive to our suggestions on things in their budget. Groom is an insufferable know it all. Hes bargain hunting. "Crab cakes dont cost that much what if i buy them and you serve them,"
On their big day im holding the door as they walk out the first time as husband and wife.
W: "we got Married im so happy"
H: "not really we gotta fill out paper work and file it with the state."
Ive seen 3 week old balloons less deflated than that poor woman. I hope she got out of there.
> H: "not really we gotta fill out paper work and file it with the state."
Last wedding I went to was pretty clever on that front. They had the marriage license and everything ready to go, officiant came up to their table at dinner and they signed them with a flourish in front of everyone, made it into a fun moment
Wedding photographer here, I can think of a few….
Full blown row during dinner, had another couple fist fight during a first dance.
An infamous one for me was leaving a venue late one night and as I’m walking to the train I can see the bride down an alley, on her knees with the best man.
I was the wedding photographer for a reality tv show. End of the night I’m having a few drinks with the film crew and the groom has come up to me and one of the producers and says “I think I’ve made a big mistake” So we’re trying to be reassuring and telling him it’s natural to second guess such a bit decision to which he replies “no I mean I think im gay” I had them both on Facebook, the drama the next week was mesmerising to watch unfold
I’ve got a ton of these stories
Edit - since you asked…
Was working with a video guy who had the bride and groom on radio mics. Sat around waiting for the evening action to kick off and the video dude called me over and said “listen to this!” Groom was talking to one of the bridesmaids about how they had to end their affair now he’s married
Not a “how could you tell they wouldn’t last” but shooting in an old church on the hottest day of the year. Watching the groom wait for the bride and he’s swaying back and forth. Next thing he’s fainted, fallen forward and slammed his mouth into a stone step. Smashed his front teeth out, blood everywhere
Had a bride and groom on a trampoline for photos, grooms heading downward, brides about to go up, he lands on her dress just as she goes up and she pops out the top of the dress, boobs flailing around in the air.
Shot a traveller wedding which erupted into a massive brawl
Watched a drunk usher knock over a wedding cake
Weddings are amazing, I’ve been doing this for about 12 years and seem some sights, but I still love shooting them even now
>An infamous one for me was leaving a venue late one night and as I’m walking to the train I can see the bride down an alley, on her knees with the best man.
I always hear stories like this and it just confuses the hell out of me. Like, cheating in general is bad enough, but on your own wedding night? Why even get married at that point?
Edit: Please stop replying to this with your own stories of people cheating on their wedding day. It's making me sad.
I just had a wedding I was invited to called off because the bride-to-be found out about the affair her fiancé is having. And my first thought was 'why would you even agree to get married?' Do these people really think they're going to continue successfully cheating and never get caught for the rest of their lives? Do they think they'll somehow decide they'll be faithful in the future?
I had a coworker before whose fiancé informed her the week before their wedding that he never legally divorced his first wife and he wasn't willing to do it. This was after they dropped $50k in deposits that were non-refundable.
I just don't get how people can go forward with these commitments.
He isn't going to end that first marriage. Very committed.
>Wedding photographer here, I can think of a few….
>...the bride down an alley, on her knees with the best man.
That would have made for an *amazing* photo to include in with the rest of the wedding photos.
Nah, they were probably overexposed.
When he raised his eyebrows and gave her a knowing look during the “for richer or for poorer” portion of their vows.
For context, he was a newly drafted pro athlete and she was a big fan of his signing bonus
Now that's a shit show If I ever heard of one
Emotional incest here...
Sounds physical to me
...*Who* got pregnant?...
I cannot abide women like the MiL, or the son. Do they have no sense of individual self? Do they not get how incredibly creepy this is?
Bordering into Jacosta/Oedipus complex territory. Yeesh....
I forget what it was called, but I was just reading about this psychological thing where if a mother doesn't have a partner that fulfills her emotional needs she looks to her son for that kind of fulfillment and it can lead to that kind of crazy attachment where the son getting married really does feel like she's losing him.
It’s easy for (American) society to encourage this as well. Single mom raising one boy here and I cannot tell you the amount of times he has heard, from a very young age, from others outside my family, “Son, you’re the man of the house now. You need to take care of your mother.” I know they mean well, but I always responded with something along the lines of “I can take care of myself. He just needs to focus on growing up.” I mean, he’s always had chores, just like he would have had if his dad were still alive. It’s not his job to take care of me emotionally beyond the responsibility ALL family members have for one another. But it was crazy the amount of times I had to shut that language down.
After the wedding my friend's new wife (who was fairly quiet in public) was screaming at my friend's family telling them it was the last time they would be seeing them and how terrible they were. It was hard to watch.
Two years later, my friend walked in on her and a dude. That was that.
Worked as a limo driver; ostensibly, I was doing a practice run; bride's family and groom then said, "surprise!! We are doing the wedding today!!! " Bride was stunned and silent the whole time. It was the one time when I was going to break The Prime Directive.
Edit 2: thanks for the award kind stranger !!
I do not even understand how this works logistically. Were only some guests notified of the "real" date? Did a bunch of vendors and guests show up during the original wedding date and wonder what was going on? So many questions.
I do not understand humankind sometimes.
It wasn't a big wedding at all. But as far as I could tell, she was the only one not in on it.
Fuck that's so sad. And to think her own family was in on it?!
When the maid of honor professed her love for my brother during her toast at my brother's wedding... and her husband walked up to the head table, picked her up and carried her away before she could embarrass him further. They lasted about 3 months after that. My brother and his wife on the other hand are still happily married 20 years later.
WTF everyone knows you're supposed to burst through the church doors unannounced literally seconds before they are pronounced man and wife. Doing it at the reception is just tacky.
Wow, thats a bold strategy
I mean, hell of a time to shoot your shot, but maybe don't be married when you do it?
I was at the wedding of one of my mum’s oldest friends and she clearly had more fun dancing with the best man after the wedding.
Long story short, they dated for a while after the divorce.
Your potential replacement is always closer than you think......
I mean… he was the best man
Not directly related to the bride and groom but I was at a wedding where the groom's mom was having A LOT of fun dancing with the best man and they wound up leaving the wedding party to go bang. Needless to say the wedding after party became....awkward.
At my friend's wedding after party she came into the room and told everyone that they'd tried to consummate but he couldn't be cause he was too drunk.
Her family was very Italian and she basically cursed him to have to deal with that for the rest of their marriage.
Yikes. Our pre-marriage counselor gave us the valuable LPT that wedding night sex is often underwhelming. You're both physically/mentally exhausted after one of the biggest days of your life, you're coming down from all kinds of stress/emotions, your stomach might be upset, and there's a good chance one/both of you will fall asleep as soon as you lay down. This really helps set reasonable expectations.
*Note*: This probably applies regardless of if you've had sex before marriage or have alcohol at the reception. No judgement/offense intended.
Perhaps we should readjust expectations to morning-after-wedding-night sex.
>At my friend's wedding after party she came into the room and told everyone that they'd tried to consummate but he couldn't be cause he was too drunk.
holy shit, privacy just got nuked
Former wedding DJ here - I've seen some shit.
3) Huge brawl on the dance floor between the entire bridal party. Bride knocked her new hubby the fuck OUT!
2) Groom was going after the garter - blindfolded. Picked the wrong girl (Maid of Honor). Should have known it wasn't his bride when the garter wasn't there. Had his head up her dress for WAY too long!
1) Bride disappears right after dinner for about an hour. After she returned, groom's father comes up and asks for the mic. Proceeds to announce to the entire place that his son's new bride was just upstairs schtupping her ex boyfriend, and that the marriage is over.
Crazy times man!
Groom’s father sounds like an absolute king
He was the angriest I've ever seen someone.
I'm sorry, blindfolded?!!
A month before the wedding, the couple made an appointment with me - the church music director/organist - to plan music for the ceremony.
Each made suggestions on music he or she would like.
But no matter how many pieces were considered and demonstrated, they couldn't agree on *anything*, and would get into heated arguments over processionals, recessionals, vocal solos, and prelude music - even though they were all good possibilities.
The bride and groom simply seemed indifferent to one another's wishes and needs.
In the end, based on what I heard each of them most wanting, I offered compromises in an effort to bring about peace - selections which they finally agreed to.
They were engaged, but showed no signs of being in love.
They were both so drunk they were slurring during the vow exchange.
Had an old boss who was divorced. He told me once "I should have known it wasn't going to last when the only happy moment I had on my wedding day was when I snuck out to smoke weed with my buddies in the parking lot."
When my cousin and her husband said “I semi-promise” in their vows. As in “I semi-promise to love and honor, blah, blah, blah.” I have no idea WTF it was supposed to mean, but I guess it sounds better than “I’ll try, but if it’s too hard, fuck it, I’m out.”
Weird twist: they’ve been married 30+ years now.