What's the most dumb rule you've had to deal with in your life?

What's the most dumb rule you've had to deal with in your life?


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Grade school: If there isn't a fire, you can't use the fire exit. I was in the library wing. The fire alarm went off. I was about to go out the fire exit but the librarian went off on me and forced me into the main hallway. Her reasoning is that we don't know if it's a real fire or not. If it's not a real fire then blah blah blah and we'd be breaking the rules and it'd be very bad. It was a real fire. It was arson. The librarian forced me to go through a choke point, during a real fire, into a crowd of a thousand people trying to exit the building, because it may have been a drill and if it was a drill then it may not be a real fire and if it's not a real fire we can't use the fire exits.


Isn't the point of a drill that you practice what you would do in a real fire?


So she potentially endangered a student's life on the off-chance that it was simply a fire drill by refusing to let you use the fire exits. Which, by the way, is safety policy to use even in fire drills. This is the same level of idiocy back when we had an earthquake in 2013, and my Religion teacher kept telling us to wait inside the classroom even while the other classes were clearly being evacuated.


I worked for a firm where a new rule was made up that we had to fill out and submit a form before any internet search. Given that many of our jobs required us to search local building code guidelines, get product specifications from manufacturers, and upload files via a ftp site to customers. We filled out a lot of paperwork. By the end of week one, the stack of papers we'd submitted were about 4' high. Understandably, the CFB who made the rule was furious and called a meeting to chew us out for making her life harder than it needed to be. Next week we nearly doubled that stack.


So they were annoyed you were following rules which they themselves set? That’s monumentally stupid.


In middle school we weren’t allowed to talk between classes. It felt like a literal prison.


Imagine the chain of events that would have to happen for a teacher to finally snap and say "no talking, ever!"


My parents built a big house when I was young but since we moved in we were only allowed to enter through the basement door and generally lived in the basement which was actually planned to be the guest rooms of this 4 floor house. The reasoning: we don't want the rest of the house get dirty. So yeah we were only allowed to use the sinks ,toilets, kitchen etc when we had guests or friends over and then we had to act as if we used them regularly.


the FUCK so they had this whole ass house you weren't allowed to go in???




What happens if you have to take a child to the bathroom? I’m assuming there would be some kids that can’t yet do it alone


You have to take all 5


"Everybody find your toilet buddy!"


Pretty sure there's at least one labor law being broken here


OSHA regulations. You must have access to bathroom facilities. If the rules at your job make it impractical to use the bathroom, they are effectively preventing you and that's not okay.




Did you work for Enron?


I work in a very heavily regulated industry. My emails get archived and deleted from my outlook automatically, and I don't have access to anything over 6 months old. This is the opposite of Enron, actually. All email communication sits somewhere I cannot access it and mess with it, and auditors can go through the archives as needed.


Sucks, really. You know, to not be able to pull up something from 3-4 years ago that explains the rationale for a decision / build-out. Places I've worked have also mandated hat we shred paper copies of documents too. Need that BRD and Scope Document for your 7 year old system? So sorry, it's long gone. Now you can pay consultants to reverse engineer the code and the business processes. Rather than spend a week reading 150 pages of requirements and design. EDIT: Writing is overrated, anyway. /s


Worked for a placed that started doing this, a colleague used to attach all his 'useful' emails to a new email and send them to himself every 6 months


I would start keeping a log and create a new word document every 6 months, or something


Wtf how does this make any sense? Edit - I misunderstood the comment, did not realize this is archive of everything. It sounded like after 6 months, it's deleted, gone for good.


I was in the military for 6 years and by far the dumbest rule was that you would get issued all of this really nice cold weather gear that would keep you nice and warm even in the coldest weather... yet we weren't allowed to wear any of it. When we went to the field we would still have to pack all this shit, but then it would just stay in your ruck while you froze your nuts off because we all had to be in the same uniform.


The extra duffel bag, stuffed with crap you knew you would never use, or be able to use, but had to lug it everywhere anyway.


I had to bring a bag with SEVEN spare barrels for my one m249 saw machine gun to Afghanistan and back. Seven. Just for my weapon. Probably weighed about 50 pounds or something.


I was scrolling REALLY far down to find something to do with the military. My gripe would be the "no hands in pockets" for Marines. Freezing? Put gloves on...oh wait, those aren't authorized.


That’s all military branches, thankfully as younger generations have made their way up the ranks it’s become less of an issue (Air Force here), but I still get some of the old farts that will yell at poor young airman about hands in pockets. On a very cold winter night, doing a FOD walk I had my hands in my pockets to keep warm, and got reamed by a MSgt about it. Apparently keeping my hands warm was a bad thing. 🤷🏼‍♂️


Just add onto this. As a woman, when we got issued our dress uniforms, they gave is skirts, which we were never allowed to wear but had to have. Also Maternity dress uniforms as well, they made me order one, got it tailored and then was told they didn't want anyone sitting in the bleachers for the CoC (change of command) parade and that we were to stay at work.






Weren't you already technically in a line, if there were just two of you?


The math checks out


So it probably wasn't the math teacher




Yea, I love these completely reactionary rules They usually ban something completely irrelevant to the problem - just to show they're 'taking action'


Well, they're in good company. This is a story from Richard Feynman's biography, [Surely You're Joking, Mr. Feynman!](https://archive.org/details/surely-youre-joking/) - he was part of the team figuring out how to build a nuclear bomb. He had challenged a colonel on the safe they used to store the secret documents in: > I figured one or two more minutes would be about time, so I began to work in earnest and two minutes later, CLINK— it opened. > The colonel's jaw dropped and his eyes bugged out. > "Colonel," I said, in a serious tone, "let me tell you something about these locks: When the door to the safe or the top drawer of the filing cabinet is left open, it's very easy for someone to get the combination. That's what I did while you were reading my report, just to demonstrate the danger. You should insist that everybody keep their filing cabinet drawers locked while they're working, because when they're open, they're very, very vulnerable." > "Yeah! I see what you mean! That's very interesting!" We were on the same side after that. > The next time I went to Oak Ridge, all the secretaries and people who knew who I was were telling me, "Don't come through here! Don’t come through here!" > The colonel had sent a note around to everyone in the plant which said, "During his last visit, was Mr. Feynman at any time in your office, near your office, or walking through your office?" Some people answered yes; others said no. The ones who said yes got another note: "Please change the combination of your safe." > That was his solution: I was the danger. So they all had to change their combinations on account of me. It’s a pain in the neck to change a combination and remember the new one, so they were all mad at me and didn't want me to come near them: they might have to change their combination once again. Of course, their filing cabinets were still left open while they were working!


That is a great story, crazy how management like this hasn't changed in decades


Random management


Sometimes I feel like principals and teachers really need to speak with someone on the outside of the faculty/staff/committee to make sure it sounds like a good punishment. Also it sounds like the faculty/staff/committee just wanted a private bathroom for themselves. 1. Punish the kid, not the mass of bladders 2. Make the bathroom only have a 1 student limit.


They should have just filled in that cursed bathroom with concrete. The ground is forever tainted from the drugz


"May I use the bathroom?" "You may. But stay straight along the path down the hallway, and make haste. Avoid the Forbidden Chamber beyond Mrs. O'Rourke's pre-calculus class, and heed not its siren scents of from days of old, when The Horror of Which We Do Not Speak unfolded, lest madness and munchies take you."


I have questions...so what happens if you needed to use the restroom?


At my high school, walk longer and longer distances to the remaining open bathrooms until there's just 2 left in the entire school (of 2500 students) and the schools paper runs a cartoon showing a desperate student trying to get into the bathroom while a janitor is leaning against the wall and twirling a keyring while singing "and waterfalls have flowing rushing water" which is the final straw that causes parents to start making a stink to the district resulting in the bathrooms being reopened. Not hypothetically speaking.


I worked in IT for a company that had its server room in a building owned by a different company. Because I was classed as "third party" by this other company, every time I needed to enter this server room there was a rule that I had to watch a 20 minute long safety video before being allowed to enter. It was maddening to have to watch this 20 minute video just to enter the room for 10 seconds, press a power button, then leave. I left this job in 2010, I messaged an ex colleague who worked there for a few years after and they did finally scrap this rule a year or so after I left.


I'm a IT consultant and bill 92$ an hour, bring on the 20 minutes.


I mean, I bill €65 an hour. I don't like doing shit like that, but everytime somebody asks me to do something I think doesnt need to be done, I first say it and if it still needs to be done, Ill happily charge them for it.


Same work partially in consultation, architecture and engineering. My hourly rate which is billed to the customer is 220. I had a customer which required me to sit through a two hour safety class each time I went there. After they got the first bill, they moved me to remote work for them


Lmao paying 440 just to make someone watch a video


Holy fuck this is inefficient use of a worker's time... Why didn't your manager do something about it?




Odd. Maybe management wanted to force staff to make the other sides so that they are available for customers? Or maybe it forces stock be used up so that it doesn't go unused for too long if customers don't order enough? I would be interested to know the story of why that rule got implemented.






Well clearly the intended result was for you to bully your sister into behaving better because that’s clearly a logical line of thinking.


my grandma was on a level up from this. Because I'm the older sibling, I was always punished instead of my brother when he was being an ass (I'm only 2.5 years older so there's barely a difference)... My brother has anger management issues and has beaten me up when we were over at my grandparents when I was 17 and my grandmother still yelled at me rather than being concerned at all cause I got a fucking concussion from hitting a wall


Not only was I responsible for my siblings' behavior when we were kids, my parents tried to pin their shit on me after I moved out. My brother got busted for smoking pot in the dorm of his boarding school sophomore year of high school. This was, according to my mother, my fault, despite the fact that at the time I was living in a different dorm, 600 miles away, and was a sophomore in college.


Yep well if she is still alive I hope you tell her that is the reason you never visit anymore.


When my dad was a kid, his older sister always took his punishments on herself because she couldn't bare to see her baby brother beaten. That rather backfired long-term. After decades of taking out his personal problems on any living thing weaker than himself, women or children or animals, he finally drove away everyone in his life. I refused to abandon my family to move back to the farm to take care of him after his third wife divorced him. So logically he threatened to murder his older sister. Because as a child he learned that, when he fucks up, she should feel pain. I really hope your brother turned out saner than that.


Jeez that would make me so incredibly anxious. What an irrational rule.


When I was working in editorial our publisher decided to become a ‘Green’ company. Every email we sent out would have a footer that had a picture of a tree and said something like “save the trees don’t print if you don’t have to” on it. Except that my job required me to have credit information (from companies of the products we shot) printed out and given to the copy editors for fact checking, so every single credit request email would print an extra page per email reply with just the footer on it. They wouldn’t let us take that stupid thing off the emails. I would have over 400+ emails with 400+ extra pages printed per issue.


Yes very conservative with the paper 👌💯


Sounds like something straight out of The Office


I once took a part time job (from a temp agency) at a toys R Us distribution warehouse where my job was to cut open boxes, place it on all on a pallet & put the pallet in the bottom of the stacks (large shelves). We were all just extra people they needed for the extra christmas workload. Met all kinds of interesting people including an elderly husband & wife who were farmers trying to make ends meet. Well anyway... the one person in charge of us was an absolute cunt (she was a permanent Toys R Us employee). We were treated like shit. Often times we didnt have any boxes to cut open & were made to stand still at our tables (large, but low metal tables with 4 people to stand around).... and do nothing. If we moved around or heaven forbid we sat down on the table ... we were screamed at. I guess they thought if we were going to be paid for doing nothing... that we should suffer for it (standing in one spot for up to four hours straight would absolutely kill my back). I have run into a lot of jobs where the rules seemed to be just made to punish employees. Often times because of what some bad employee did in the past & now all future employees have to pay for it.


It seems like every job I’ve ever had does everything in their power to make it harder for the workers.


I was building a theater set in high school, as a slacking senior taking a shop class, and wearing my hard hat. I left the theater to use the bathroom and a random teacher stopped me for breaking the **no hats in school** rule. She escorted me back to the theater and told my shop teacher he should write me up for my infraction. He told her to get off the set because she wasn't wearing a hard hat as required by safety rules. Edit: [Another story](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/dmjn8e/what_is_the_most_memorable_nsfw_thing_that_happen/f52giv7/) about one of my favorite high school teachers


Ah, those type of teachers are so weird. I got a detention for being late to study hall because a kid fainted and his stuff went everywhere in the hallway right outside the room I was going to so I stopped to see if he was okay and the bell rang while I was kneeling next to him. This room was a multi-purpose space where the entire wall facing the hallway was glass, so she saw the entire thing and even came out to assist. After he got taken to the nurse and I was settled in my seat, she put a detention slip on my desk. Granted, it was my third time being late to class but I thought surely this time would get a pass... I asked her if I was supposed to just step over him and leave him there and she just shrugged.


"I don't make the rules. I just follow them blindly and unquestioningly. Also I teach children"


I'm a teacher of nearly 20 years. I stand at my door every day and greet kids who are sometimes up to a minute late with a smile and a high five or a simple, "hello". Often the kids begin to run toward me because they are so scared of being marked tardy. It's a shame so many kids are so afraid of teachers. But, I get it, the biggest bullies in school are the teachers. Now, if a kid is chronically more than 4-5 minutes late I may have to intervene, but I have never written a kid up for being late and remember, I'm a teacher of nearly 20 years.


I had a teacher who was militant about the clock. I had to come from the complete opposite end of the school and I was late only *once.* Of course I got detention for that one time.


There are so many other more important battles to fight as a teacher. And what better way to make a kid not feel welcome in your class. wtf


Should have written her up for an infraction instead.


Detention ought to correct her behavior


holy fuck this is gold


I once worked at a national Chicago pizza chain where management and staff turnover was less than 6 months. I stayed for a year because they made me a bartender. Before I was promoted I was a server, and servers, as in most restaurants has to roll silverware into napkins, and completed these are called rollups. If you worked a 1/2 day (lunch or dinner only) you had to make 100 roll ups) And if you worked a double (both meals) you had to make 200. Sometimes working a double I would make the 200 rollups while sitting staring blankly at the wall during the dead time between lunch and dinner. Then show the manager, hoping to get credit for all 200 for my double shift, so O could leave at a reasonable hour. Here is the stupid rule finally.... He would tell me that the rollups had to be done after your shift or they don't count, so I would have to make 100 more that evening before I left. I tried basic logic and asked him if I gave him 200 apples, would I have given him 200 apples. He disagreed and said so many people quit over this rule and I can feel free to go if I don't like it. Wasn't this wonderful?!?


Sounds like the real life hack for employees there should have been to do the roll ups and stash them somewhere so you could go as soon as the shift was over.


Managers head sounds like a good place, pretty empty in there.




My dad made a rule that my brother and I were not allowed to take off our shoes while in our house. Edit: Obviously there were exceptions when it comes to sleeping and showering. His reasoning was that he wanted us to always be ready to go somewhere/ do something without having to find and put on our shoes.


Stinky feet I had a friend i gave this rule to. He’d come over wearing boots with “built in socks” The moment he took his boots off the entire house would stink for the rest of the day.


My school enforced a "no running on the playground" rule because a kid fell over and broke his leg


Reminds me the diary of a wimpy kid, where they take away all the playground equipment because some dumb ass injured himself


Technically I'm not allowed to do scripting stuff to automate things. Realistically I don't give a damn because I want to get shit done and not do everything manually. Things that could easily be done by doing some GPO magic.




Simple solution: have an activation code for the program. Now it's not automatic, and they can't use your own software to replace you.


Had a bunch of scripts I used to be more efficient at an old job. I didn't tell my manager, because every time I suggested an improvement, he'd tell me he'd "investigate it as a possibility" and then I'd never hear from him back on it. The company used RUMBA for their account management, and anyone who's used it knows how flexible that scripting is. When I left (they cut my hours to 15 a week the day after I signed for my mortgage, fuck you Wells Fargo), I deleted the scripts. I got calls from my former boss for like three months after like clockwork, begging me to come in and show the remaining staff how to work as fast as I did, but balked at my $120/rate for consulting because "You're only 24, you're not worth that much."


>"You're only 24, you're not worth that much." "Cool. Next time you call, my hourly rate is going up. Ask yourself what's more efficient, paying my rate or paying lots of employees to be slower? One of those costs is recurring..." \*click\*




Do you work for the mob?


Getting a detention if we didn't have our shirt tucked in at school, which also meant even if a very tiny part was stuck out, you'd be sent to the detention room.


The “you can’t use the bathroom unless the teacher gives permission” rule. Fuck that. Sometimes they would expect us to wait 20-30 minutes as a kid. My kids are instructed to get up and leave if they need to go that badly, permission or not.


A few jobs ago, I worked at a place that required us to keep track of our own hours via excel. At the end of the two week period they made us turn in our hours to be audited. If we underpaid ourselves, we got underpaid. If they found us to overpay ourselves, they found it right away. The entire time the company knew what our actual hours were, they just made us to this for reasons? Anyways if you missed the deadline to turning in the spreadsheet, your paycheck was not able to be direct deposited and you were required to drive 20 miles from the actual workplace to the corporate office to pick up a physical paycheck. They refused to mail the check.


How the heck do they get anyone to work for them


I went to a strict Catholic high school. The "rule" was if you were absent more the 15 days (even if you had a doctor's note, chronic health condition, etc.), you had to "make up" the time at the end of the year. Making up the time was sitting in a classroom after school was done for the year (which was hotter then hell, because no AC in old Catholic schools) and basically do nothing - maybe a couple of worksheets or some busy work for whatever number of days beyond 15 you were absent. I generally didn't have problems with absences, but my junior year, I had severe infections in both ears and missed the first week and a half of school, so that was 8 days absent off the bat (for which I had a doctor's note) and then I missed several more days due to ongoing issues with my ears and then the usual colds, stomach viruses, etc. that happen in school. So, I was out a total of 23 days my junior year, every one of which was an excused absence. It's important to note I was on the honor roll each quarter, was at the top of my class and was in the running for being a National Merit Scholar. So, my absences in no way affected my grades or performance in school. So the end of the year comes and I have to make up the days, instead of working (and earning money) at the job I had lined up for the summer. I go in the first day and the teacher in charge, Mr. N., sees me and is shocked. He says "House, what are you doing here?" "Well, Mr. N. I was pretty sick at the beginning of the year and missed a bunch of days and then got sick a few other times over the course of the year and now have to make up the time." He said, "OK, go sit down and do these worksheets." After about an hour, he calls me to his desk and says "House, can I have a word with you outside for a moment?" I said "Sure" and got up. He called me out in the hall and asked me what I'd be doing if I weren't making up days. I told him I had a full time job lined up for the summer and was missing days (and money) to make this time up. He just kind of shook his head and goes, "So, you'd be working if you weren't here?" "Yes," I said, "I can give you my boss' number if you need it." He said "Not necessary. Just go in, get your things and go. Don't say a word to anyone and don't return. I'll take care of things on my end." I could have kissed him. Thank you, Mr. N. for having some common sense and compassion.


Who tf even comes up with such a shit rule?


It's probably a compulsory attendance law. Many states require a minimum number of contact days or a student is considered truant. Most permit certain excuses that "don't count" (like illness), but there are a few States where there's an absolute minimum attendance regardless of reasons for absence. Such laws are in place because there are parents/guardians who would absolute prevent their kids from getting an education, and some of them exist in subcultures where they can get a doctor to make up excuses or whatever to avoid the absences being "unexcused". As usual, it's a few outliers that ruin it for everyone.




I remember back in high school there was a system where, if you were missing part of your uniform for any legitimate reason, you could go to the vice principal and get a slip that would excuse you from that particular uniform abnormality for the day. One day I arrived at school and realised that I'd completely forgotten my tie. I knew that wasn't a legitimate reason, but I figured I'd try my luck anyway. So I just went to the vice principal's office, flat out told him that I'd just completely forgotten my tie and whether that would qualify for a slip. He didn't even question it any further and just gave me a slip.


In my experience, vice principals get saddled with so many "real" problems and have to deal with so many rude-ass students and parents that if you politely ask for help with a non-emergency issue they are usually too busy or worn out to make a stink about it, and just give you a "yeah sure, whatever" response to get you out of their office


Yeah, I get that impression as well. He had a reputation of being a strict hardass, but the interactions I had with him were always perfectly reasonable and cordial.




My friend's roommate in college was from a deeply religious, conservative family and he had the same rule. Well, he ended up with a large collection of PG13 and R rated movies but when his parents came to visit, he begged me to hide them all in my room. Evidently, he still wasn't supposed to be watching R rated movies despite being 20 years old at this point.




Nothing says whore like playing the trombone in marching band attire


I'm wondering which colors are 'non-whore colors'


The whore color spectrum is just a black-to-white grayscale. Black = Sexy "little black dresses" for whores White = Purity, just like Jesus All other colors get converted to black-and-white and then judged on the grayscale spectrum of whorishness.


Puce, powder blue, beige, and anything else you could picture on a boxy dress at /r/FundieFashion.


Puce is the French word for flea. The color is said to be the color of bloodstains on linen or bedsheets, even after being laundered, from a flea's droppings, or after a flea has been crushed.


*Oh, that’s puce...*


So all Nuns are dirty whores, according yo your mother?


When they say Amen, they really mean ahhh men.


Only those nuns in holland that wear pink pass mom's test


Good to see that my mother wasn't the only psycho who thought that wearing a red shirt in the 5th grade meant that you're letting the entire world know you're a prostitute and advertising for customers.


Damn. I’ve known some people who were extremely conservative but that’s a new one for me.


u/wdjbat You don't have to put on the red ~~light~~ shirt


If that is how she felt, how did your mother ever tolerate a penis inside of her in order to have you? That is some ridiculous BS.


It kinda sounds like the mother from Stephen King’s book, “Carrie.”




High school security is such a joke. I once left campus to grab lunch (yes, it was a closed campus) and when I came back she threatened me by saying I wouldn't be able to walk when I graduated. power trippin edit: "walk" as in "do the graduation walk across the stage"


They love threatening that over the pettiest crap the second you become a senior. Show a bra strap? No walk for you.




This would be especially fucked up for girls needing to carry pads/tampons, and potentially anyone with some sort of medical issue or another


At the middle school I attended girls wore jackets for the extra pockets they added. This was in Southern Arizona which meant it was hot as fuck.


I also went to an Arizona middle school with these rules. I remembered it just sucked so my entire friend group would just pass our books around so nobody carried more than like 2 books at a time. And then one person lost his english book and upset the chain.




Ah punishing people for not getting to class by forcing them out of class


As a kid I was allowed to do something fun 2 to 3 times a week because otherwise I had "too much fun" according to my parents. I'm 18 now and my mom keeps making excuses to not let me do stuff, the pandemic is the best excuse even tho I'm vaccinated, glad I'm moving out.


Someone kept drawing on the bathroom stalls in the 3rd, 4th, and 5th grade bathrooms. Until they were caught we had to go to the bathroom with a buddy and only two people in the bathroom at a time. Also a teacher, (not mine) only gave 1 minute to go to the bathroom


That's brilliant! If you go in pairs you can blame each other of drawing, which is nice


Back in school there was a zero tolerance bullying policy. Basically means "we can't be bothered actually investigating the incident, so we just punish all parties involved". I got jumped and was held back after class along with the guy who jumped me as punishment for...being...beaten up? *What lol*


I'm a senior in high school now, but when I was in freshman year my school gave out these things called demerits as a form of punishment. If you get 4 or more within a two-week period you get a detention. In my freshman year, my school gave demerits to students who would rest their heads on their hands or arm. Any elongated touch to the face would be a demerit.


When I worked at Target, we had to refer to customers as “guests”. Not just when we were facing them, also in places like the break room. If a manager overheard someone use the term “customer”, they would usually say something like “did you just say the c-word?!”


Your manager was the real c-word


On our journeys to and from school we were forbidden from eating while walking. Why the school thought they could impose that I’ve no idea.


I'm not sure if my mom read some dumb book on parenting or something when I was a kid but she had one rule that fucked me up. I was the youngest in my family and whenever my much larger brothers would bully me or beat me up, even while right in front of her, she would always say "this is between ye and it's up to ye to resolve it between yourselves". Like I know what she was going for but jesus christ. I was completely defenseless and all it resulted in is my older brothers getting a free pass to do whatever the fuck they liked.




We had a zero tolerance policy. Even if you curled up in a ball and took a beating, you would still be suspended.


Can someone please explain why?!?! This is the most batshit insane policy and so many schools have it....???????????????


Laziness. They have to do *zero* work figuring out who started it, over what, etc. Instead everyone is automatically guilty with zero thought or effort required.


This led to worse fights at my school. Kids figured if they were getting in trouble anyway they might as well make it worth it and not hold back. Predictably the school board insisted that there was no correlation and the rule remained.


Yeah I learned on here a while ago that if someone tries to fight me. To beat them black and blue until they are too scared to ever pick on you again.


In several schools, the zero tolerance policy for fighting will actually get everyone involved in the fight in trouble, even if you were on the receiving end of a beating and didn't fight back at all. It almost incentivizes you to fight back instead of trying to de-escalate or just fetal position to reduce the damage. So it's really lose-lose.




Yup. My parents told me if I ever got hit in school, to fight back 10x harder. Because if I was going to get in trouble anyway, I might as well make it worth it. They made it clear that if I ever started it my ass would be in a sling, but they would not punish me for defending myself. Only happened once. I got hit, and I went absolutely bonkers.




Was a manager at McDonald's for a summer. Same issue, huge lunch rush. I was making a dozen quarter pounders. They had these ketchup and mustard guns. There was a process In which you added ketchup first on all, then mustard, then onions, then pickles, burger all one at a time. Then close, wrap. We'll I found I could two hand the ketchup and mustard and do all 12 in about 3 seconds. Then dust them with onions, etc. I could do all 12 in less than about 45 Seconds. As opposed to several minutes. Gm came by and lost her shit. Demanded I follow the process. Legit, in the middle of a huge line out the door lunch rush, throw all 12 out and start over and watched me make each one individually. Meanwhile customers were pissed off.


What an idiot


I took a second job at a McDonalds for some extra cash about 20 years ago. I would do the same thing. Line up a dozen buns and make burgers 12 at a time instead of individually. One day a Mid-Atlantic Regional Manager came in for inspections. He saw me making 12 at a time and proceeded to explain to me the rules of burger making. I didn't really need the job so I just said to him "I'm not going to do it like that. You're slowing me down." The Regional Manager goes over to my manager to discuss me. I overhear my manager explaining to him that he tries to get me to do it the right way but I never do. I then hear him tell him that other than this one thing I won't do, I'm his best employee and he is short handed right now so firing me would put him in a bind. The Regional Manger seemed to be struggling for a solution until i hear him explain "Oh, I know what to do. I'll just pretend I never saw him."


That’s crazy. I had a friend in high school who’d get... weirdly loyal to and defensive about the places that she worked. We had a handful of conversations where she’d defend dumb stuff like that from her McDonald’s job.




People in the military, speak up! Navy here. It was 3pm on a Friday. Everyone wanted to go home, because all of our daily tasks were done... Except one. We had to paint the exterior bulkhead on the radar deck of my destroyer. The problem was, it was RAINING. So we did not paint the outside of the ship because the rain would wash the paint off of the metal surface. We go to our Chief and tell him that we are done with everything. Our chief is "on duty" that day, meaning he's on the ship until Saturday morning instead of going home. >Did you get the painting done topside? **No chief, it's raining right now.** >Nobody's going home until that bulkhead is painted. Well, we painted it alright. Put Haze Gray on the roller and slathered a bunch of watery paint on the wet bulkhead. And it all melted off onto the deck as we did it. We told Chief it was done, and we went home. I don't know if he thought we were lying, or what. He was a smart guy. To this day I have no idea why he made us do that. We didn't get in trouble for all the mess that was made by the wet paint, we just repainted everything the following week anyway.




Get in trouble for challenging yourself. Teachers a fuckwit


I got in trouble in school when I was 13 for programming my own game in my spare time on the school computers because games were not allowed. Fair enough, I suppose but they deleted the entire source code for my game and called me into the office and said it was a bad game anyway.


What the hell? Schools are all about learning right? And it's not like you got to skip the class when you were in that grade.




He forgot the rice. Order the most expensive thing on the menu!


There was a rule implemented in high school where lockers were inaccessible while classes were being held. You forgot your homework in your locker? Tough luck, that's a 0 for you! You need to get tampons from your locker? Either go to the nurse ( who was there half a day during the week) or just use toilet paper as a makeshift pad until they open the locker area. We were a small school (barely 500 students) so we revolted and had a sitting protest where all students were asked to sit in the main staircase of the school, blocking the flow of traffic and infuriating the batshit insane headmaster. After a week of sitting in the stairs at every break/lunch, they finally let the locker area unlocked.


We weren't allowed to throw snowballs because someone could get hurt. We weren't allowed to build snow forts because they could collapse and someone could get hurt. We weren't allowed to build snowmen because they could fall over and someone could get hurt. We *were* allowed to roll snowballs, but they had to be on the ground and one meter away from any other snowball. We were encouraged to build "snow forests" this way. Screw that. They're trying to rob us of everything in Canadian childhood. Edit: everyone who commented "But snowballs are *actually* dangerous" doesn't know how to dodge


I had a teacher who if someone sneezed and you said bless you he would say only a priest can bless someone and if you do it again I'll write you up.




mfw almost every server in the world is running hacking tools




I am an EMS helicopter pilot. I fly with Night Vision Goggles. Problem: The FAA rules for using NVG's state that the aircraft must also be equipped with a working radar altimeter. So if I am flying over the Sierra Nevada mountains on a pitch-black night and the radar altimeter fails... I have to take the night vision goggles off.


I’m guessing this is to prevent people from assuming they can use NVGs without having the radar as a backup, right? But like...wouldn’t this be superseded by something like “do whatever you can with whatever you have to operate safely in the event of equipment failure?”


Yes if critical equipment fails priority number one becomes land the bird down safely.


My parents had a rule that for every fiction book I wanted to read, I had to read a nonfiction book of equal or greater volume. Also, my mom had to read every single book we wanted to read first to make sure it was appropriate. And did I mention I have 7 siblings? This meant if I wanted to read a thick fiction book like Eragon I had to read the fucking bible first. When I finished a nonfiction book and chose something out of the library my mom wasn't sure about, I had to wait for her to get to it so she could pass off on it. This meant my siblings and I read a lot of the same series at the same time because there was only so much to read that was considered appropriate. It was actually quicker to wait for 4 people to finish the book first than to wait for my mom to get to it, and they only ever bought one copy so if you couldnt find another at the library tough luck. Also I'm pretty sure my mom never read a single Harry Potter book but she was certain they were evil because they were about witches and warlocks. Funnily enough, I couldn't read the books but I watched all the movies as well as plenty of rated R movies and horror films of literal devils and demons. But I couldn't watch any movies with LGBTQ content. In 6th grade my reading comprehension was at a 12th grade reading level. In 12th grade I'm pretty sure it had plummeted. I lacked the desire to read anything anymore, including fiction. I struggled through assigned reading in high school and once I got to college I didn't read for leisure anymore. I still don't. My worst score on the SAT was reading comprehension. I wonder why


I wasn't allowed to wear jeans as a kid because of my moms oddly intense disdain for them.


Not really a rule and more of a chore, but every time I went to play in the woods, I had to spend a good chunk of time "cleaning" the woods, i.e. picking up twigs and leaves so the woods wouldn't look "dirty"


"next we need you to mop the lake"


i went to a semi boarding high school (about 10% of students boarded), and new dorms were constructed while i was there. we had a big meeting, and the principal said "no students of the opposite sex in your dorm room! we don't want anyone having sex!" (a bit paraphrased.) one of the students stood up and said "what about the gay kids? they get to have sex!" so for about a month, the rule was "no students of the opposite or same sex in your dorm room, with the exception of your roommate."


You know what? No students allowed at school! That way there can be no sex!


Ya know what. I'm just gonna nuke the earth. Too much sex happening on it.


When I was in 7th grade I went to this super Adventist private school. Our principal (who was bald) told all the girls in our class we couldn't wear hair ties because it made us look like we were trying to wear it as a bracelet and get attention. Adventists are very much against jewelry and nail polish of any sort. So any time a girl was spotted wearing a hair tie around her wrist it was confiscated and you were sent to the office. I'm so glad I left.


The army and putting your hands in your pockets. It’s fucking senseless and everybody knows it.


Even better is the Navy. In boot camp, we walk past a glorious statue of the “Lone Sailor”, an eternal watchstander held up as the pinnacle of what a service member should be. He has his hands in his pockets.


No elbows on the table. You’d get a pink slip at lunch.


As a kid (and sometimes now as an adult) my parents would not allow us to say the word butt. If we let one slip my parents would react like I had just screamed the F-word.


The zero tolerance policy for fighting in schools and I’m going to give you a story for why I hate this rule. So basically this group of girls(for some reason) hated this real quite girl who didn’t bother anyone. They would start rumors about her at the school and would post them on Snapchat since they had people added at her old schools so the rumors could spread to there as well. One day these girls decided they had enough of the girl who didn’t bother anyone and they jumped her in the cafeteria line like on some prison shit. For the next 30 seconds it was just these 3 girls kicking this smaller skinny girl on the ground. After it was over all of them went to the office. The three girls got suspended for 4 days in school suspension. What do you think happened to the other girl? They punished her for being bullied by giving her a week out of school suspension since she technically was in a fight even though she didn’t fight back at all , she just laid there and took it. I forgot to mention that this girl had some mental health issues and a way for her to cope was through self harm. So after she did her week she came back looking like she survived a fire that broke out in a razor blade factory, just cuts and burns everywhere. The principal who gave her the punishment noticed (we have 2 principals at my school) and asked her what happened. She just looked the principal in the eye and said something along the lines of “you never did anything to stop this before so don’t start pretending to care now”. The girl was put in a mental hospital about a week after. TLDR: I hate the zero tolerance policy for fighting in schools because I witnessed firsthand how stupid it is.




Good for your for breaking contact with toxic people!


When Grandfather was driving, everyone in the car had to bless themselves with a "sign of the cross" when driving by a Catholic church. If anyone didn't do it, he'd pull over in front of the church and just "hold us hostage" until everyone blessed themselves, even if they weren't religious or Catholic.


"Thank you for pulling over, I have a document to attach to the door."




I had a salaried position where my hours were 8-5. I commuted there and back using public transportation, which meant I woke up at 6:30AM to get there by 7:45AM and took the 5:20PM bus home. I was living in a really big city and traffic was terrible, so I would basically be out of the house from 7AM-6:40PM everyday for less than 30k a year. It was soul sucking. I realized that If I could get on the 5:00 bus, I would get home much earlier because I’d beat most of the traffic. I asked my manager if I could leave at 4:50PM since I always got in early and would fulfill my required time regardless - she said no as it would decrease morale. Still don’t really understand how.


Sadly, this is because people would only pay attention to you leaving 10 minutes early, but not notice you also arrived 10 minutes early.


Oh I got a good one for you holy shit. This was in college, a 200 level English Course. The professor thought BEYOND highly of themselves, she thought she was GOD's personal gift to this Earth. She was about 60, never married and no kids (Gee, I wonder why) and put on this overly peppy "I'm THE most delightful person ever" act non-stop. This class was full of adults, all of us in our 20's. She made us, upon entering her class room, turn off our phones and give them to her in a basket she kept in the front of her room. In exchange, this rat nest crazy psycho would give you a mint. This doesn't seem so bad, I mean it's already ridiculous but it's not THAT bad. One day, one guy is literally just eating the mint, sucking on it as you would. It clicks against his teeth twice. TWICE. And she FLIPS out and yells at him for eating candy. Full on melt down. He tries to calmly tell her that it was the mint she gave him, and that it clicking against his teeth twice is no reason to get upset. She tirades for 5 more solid minutes, and ends it with "Well just finish it up already then!" screaming it him. No more mints were given out after this, but this comes into play later. Fast forward about a month into the semester. The class that was 20 had dropped to 12, then 10, then 8. No one could stand her, she was downright just awful. Your grades were held hostage at MAXIMUM a B when you handed them in, until you went to the writing center after and made "corrections". The writing center was always fully booked, so getting in wasn't always an option. She had SET deadlines, and was also in CHARGE of the writing center. She knew how over booked it was. So when we informed her every time that it would be impossible to have the revisions done within the week she set for us AFTER she graded, correcting SPECIFIC things she pointed out, she of course, told us to try harder. Fast forward one more week. She's going on about a trip she had to the south where she met the "most delIGHTful colored person ever" while on the bus. She goes on and on about it. We're talking 15 full minutes of OVER the top forced emotional nonsense. She does this while dead lock staring at the only black student in the class. AKA, Mint guy. He, and everyone else, are more than visibly uncomfortable. The next class he comes in 10 minutes late with a form. He tells her he, understandably, cannot take her course anymore, and needs her to sign this consent of drop form. She spends the next 15 minutes stopping the lesson and trying to change his mind by saying "Oh, hunny, I'm sure you're good enough for this class" ect. He continuously interrupts her and says "I need you to sign this form now.". Class size then dropped to 6. She was the worst professor ever, and I have at LEAST 5 more stories of her being the least self-aware piece of shit person this side of the Mississippi river.


This sounds like a story I want to hear. Any time you want to add more, please do!


Coming back to work at an office job everyday at a paperless office where I deal with 0 clients or other people to do a job I can easily and efficiently do from home because “that’s just the way it is”, even though employees were happier and worked better at home. The bosses wants things “how they were before covid.” Because it makes them “feel better.” So now I drive 30+ minutes to work everyday, waste an hour of lunch (can’t workout, can’t run errands, can’t clean my house, do laundry, etc), then spend another 30+ in traffic back home. That’s 40+ hours a month of wasted time. Not calculating gas, laundry, lunch expenses, etc. Oh and if I’m sick can I work remotely? Nope. Why not? Because “we don’t like it.” So I lose a day of pay. That. That is the stupidest fucking archaic boomer pre-covid rule I’ve had to recently deal with in my life. Illogical, inefficient and emotional. A complete inability to balance what works well for a business and what works well for the WORKER and the quality of life of the worker. But hey fuck the worker and their personal happiness as long as they make that money.


Australia was going through a drought years ago. Our local council told us we could only use 20 or so buckets of water to wash our cars but never to use the hose directly onto our cars because of all the waste that would cause. A local reporter worked out the in average time it took to wash your car you would have filled 5 buckets.


Does the entire nation of Australia not have those squeeze-trigger hose nozzles, so that the water doesn't have to run constantly ?


Never to say "No way José" in front of my parents because it was racist.


My mom banned the word "fart".


I couldn't say the word "hate". Period PS. Or stupid.


My college required a swimming test to graduate. If you couldn't swim, you had to enroll in a physical education class in swimming. Every year a couple of people scrambled at graduation time and dog paddled a few laps on the pool because they'd never taken the swim test. They actually wouldn't give you a diploma or mark your transcript as graduated without the swim test. One guy got out of it with a doctor's note because he was wheelchair bound. Pretty much everybody else was stuck. *edit* In answer to comments & questions, about a hundred years ago one new graduate drowned. His parents donated a chunk of money and made this test a condition. They didn't want any other wealthy young scion to go down in a yachting accident. *edit #2* Although the idea behind this isn't all bad, I doubt its effectiveness in real world emergencies. A few laps across an indoor swimming pool don't teach anything about dealing with chop or currents, etc.




Not my own story but one I've read some time ago: Someone moved from Swiss to Germany. As the Swiss isn't in the EU, he had to get his drivers license approved so it would also be valid in Germany. As the Swiss and Germany both have german as their main language, his drivers license was written in german.He walked to the office and showed the clerk his license. The clerk then demanded to see a notarized translation as the Swiss isn't in the EU. The man explained to the clerk that his license was already in german, but the clerk was adamant that he needed a notarized translation. The man then took his drivers license to a notar and explained everything. The notar just shook his head, made a copy and signed it as a notarized translation. With the "translation" in hand the man returned to the office and now the clerk accepted his license.


At a sports camp a few years ago, the person in charge made a rule of absolutely no physical contact unless we were on the ice, which included handshakes, hugging, shoving, and among other things... hi fives. So for a full week me and about 50 other kids were trying to find loopholes so we could hi five each other.


I used to do translation work for a woman who had an irrational dislike of the word "because" and refused to let me use it. I had to use ridiculous expressions like "on account of which..." "due to the fact that..." to get round this nonsensical rule.


Rules that decrease efficiency without any moral reasoning are completely dumb.